


A Whole New World

by Komodo_Butterfly



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Baby Harry, Bottom Severus Snape, Coercion, Crack, Drama, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mpreg, Possessive Behaviour, Pregnant Severus Snape, Ravenclaw Severus Snape, Time Travel, Young Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-09 19:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5552957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Komodo_Butterfly/pseuds/Komodo_Butterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war was over, the light side had won and Severus died a hero. Right? Well apparently not. Severus reawakens to find himself in bed with his enemy, a ring on his finger and a toddler calling him papa. That in itself is bad enough, but to find out he's only nineteen and pregnant for a second time? Cue the freak out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own the Harry Potter franchise, I don’t own any of its characters and I make no money or profit from this.
> 
> So I now have four stories on the go, one of which is nearing its end. So what do I do? I start yet another one. But I refuse to let this one turn into another ridiculously long story. I’m hoping to keep this only a few chapters long. But I may split this into two stories, one of which will be of Severus’ life in this new world prior to him waking up in it.
> 
> The summary is pretty self-explanatory but to go into a bit more detail; I was thinking what it might be like for a Canon Severus to wake up in a sort of Fanfiction world. Where it's normal to end up married to your enemy and have his kid. Only I've read a couple in the past that were just awful and wanted to try my own spin on it. I also wanted to address the issues of how a straight man might react in such a situation and what he'd be going through. And of course I had to throw in a baby Harry because he's just adorable.

Considering everything he’d lived through, Severus liked to think he was remarkably well adjusted. He’d known and watched many a man die, each of which had failed to cope with even a fraction of what he’d been forced to do. He’d seen more horrors than most could handle, killed more people than he could ever forgive himself for and for what? The greater good? Well some good it was, what good was it to him when he was dead? That’s what he’d like to know. Unfortunately for Severus, despite everything he’d done, the people he’d saved and the chaos he’d prevented, it seemed the universe hadn’t quite finished with him yet.

One moment he was in the Shrieking Shack, breathing his last, the next he found himself lying in a bed. Now that wasn’t too suspicious. It was technically possible that the Potter brat had somehow managed to save his life, even if the odds were astronomically against him. If that were the case then he was most likely in a hospital bed, no doubt Poppy would barge in, in her usual manner. Only something was off.

The walls weren’t white. In all the hospitals he’d even been in, the walls had always been white. Or at least a very drab grey. And the bed, it wasn’t stiff and uncomfortable. No, it was soft with just the right amount of firmness. The kind of bed that could only belong in a home, a well off home at that. That really should have been a clue. But so caught up in his confusion it took some time for Severus to notice one rather glaring difference that really should have clued him in.

“It can’t be”.

James bloody Potter. It was definitely James in his bed, not that brat of his. Well not so much a brat as a rather constant annoyance in his life.

“Mmm, Sev?”

Severus froze as the other man stirred. Dimly he recognised that his chest was tightening, his breathing grew shallower and huh, he’d never noticed all those spots swimming around his vision before. The next thing he knew, his head hit the pillow once more. Had he been awake he’d have surely argued he’d blacked out. Such a shock might do that to a man, it was perfectly understandable. But the truth was, no matter how he tried to sugarcoat it, Severus had fainted dead away. Like a swooning maiden being reunited with her lost love. Only this was no love. This was Potter.

In the back of his mind Severus could recognise the sound of a wailing infant. But it wasn’t until his brain finally registered that a heavy weight had been lifted off the bed and an even heavier one had returned that Severus finally awoke. As soon as he did he wished he hadn’t.

“Harry was crying, guess he wanted his Papa. Fancy a coffee? I’ll have Mimzy bring in the breakfast. You’d like that wouldn’t you champ? Breakfast in bed with your two favourite people?”

It was official, Severus was in hell.

“Wha-?” Severus froze as he felt Potter’s lips press against his own. Before he had time to react and ideally punch that dopey little grin clean off the other man’s face, he felt a second clumsier pair of lips touch his own.

“Papa!”

Severus was quite sure he was about to have a bloody heart attack. If he hadn’t had one already that is.

“Hey you okay?” Severus turned to James in somewhat of a daze. “Still thinking about last night ey? Can’t say I blame you, you were positively wild. God just thinking about it makes me want to-”

Severus shot out of bed, alarming the man and the baby who stared at him with wide eyes. Without pausing to think Severus staggered to the bathroom, grateful the door had been left open making it easy to locate. Seconds later he found himself retching into the toilet, bile clawing its way up his throat. It was only as he paused between heaves that he registered the soreness emanating between his legs. It didn’t take a genius to work out why that was, the thought of which had him retching once again.

“Sev? You okay? Did you eat something funny? It wasn’t one of those potions of yours was it because I-”

Please Merlin would someone shut the bastard up? Had he not been so mortified, disgusted and terrified all at once, Severus would have surely shut the man up himself.

“Wait, you’re not well you know, are you?” James asked as he so helpfully grabbed a glass and filled it with water. Grabbing some toilet paper he offered it to Severus who reluctantly took it from him. Even he in all his greasy ways drew the line at having sick splattered around his mouth.

You know what? What was he supposed to bloody know?

“Fuck. You don’t think it happened at Christmas do you? Like it did with Harry? But you were taking the contraceptive potion weren’t you? You insisted on it. I mean not that I blamed you. We were only seventeen when we found out we were having Harry. We weren’t ready for any more so soon. Hell you weren’t even ready to have Harry back then, you just about killed me when you found out”.

As strange as it sounded, that last little bit gave Severus the smallest amount of comfort. At least in this screwed up parody of his world, his younger self hadn’t completely lost his mind. Of course that small amount of comfort was no match for the sheer panic and disgust that came about at what Potter was insinuating.

Severus had known the possibility of male pregnancy was technically possible. Only he’d never met a man stupid enough to give it a go, although he supposed the war might have had something to do with that. But then that had never stopped Molly from popping out a brat every year or so, now had it? But what Potter was suggesting, it couldn’t be possible. Male pregnancy required countless potions to change and alter the male form so it could support a child. It required excessive amounts of magic to stabilise the child through the nine month period. In short it was a hell of a lot of work, not something a seventeen year old could go through. So why the bloody hell had Potter mentioned contraceptive potions? He was a man damn it! Even if by some long lost curse he’d ended up carrying a kid, there’s no way he’d be capable of doing so again without the necessary potions and spells.

Potter was acting as though Harry had been an accident. He’d said they’d had him at seventeen. How in the hell was that possible? Was that normal in this quite frankly twisted version of his world? Did guys suddenly have wombs and go about getting knocked up every time they fancied a buggering? While Severus had never done it himself not with a man that is, he’d known of men who lay with other men in that way. Hell Dumbledore himself had been of that persuasion, although it was hardly talked about in polite conversation. No apparently that little tidbit had been saved for when he’d been made headmaster, where Albus’ portrait could natter on as he pleased as much as Severus wished otherwise.

“Here why don’t we get you back into bed, hmm? I’ll leave Harry with you while I go fetch a healer and we can see if you are pregnant. Oh wait you should do your teeth first”.

Potter was acting so helpful, it really was disturbing. But Severus found he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Hell he was all for going back to sleep. Perhaps this was just a delusion and he was really lying in a hospital bed, body racked with fever from Nagini’s poison. Severus could only hope.

With his teeth brushed and a squirming two year old shoved into his arms, Severus found himself blinking up at the ceiling as he lay back in bed. Glancing down at the child in his arms, Severus frowned as Harry’s eyes locked onto his own. Black. Harry’s eyes were black. Black like his own.

Severus was quite relieved when the room began to spin. He only hoped when he woke once more that this nightmare would end.

-

“He’s coming to” Severus heard a faint voice in the distance.

“Severus? Can you hear me?” He knew that voice, he was sure of it.

“Poppy?” Severus croaked. Almost immediately a glass was pressed against his lips and he was carefully propped up so he could drink.

“Take your time now; you must have had quite a shock. Of course I remember what you and James were like when you found out you were pregnant with Harry. I’d never seen you go so pale. But you were only a teenager at the time; you had all those hopes and dreams you had to put on hold. You’d get yourself into such a state. And yet you still managed some of the highest marks we’d ever seen. And then you had little Harry over the summer hols, six weeks earlier than scheduled. I must say there were some of us who thought you might end up having him right in the middle of exams. Wouldn’t that have been a sight? Now lie back pet and let’s have a feel”.

Severus felt numb. This had to be a dream, a sick twisted dream to be sure but a dream nonetheless. It just had to be. There was no way in hell he’d ended up a teenage parent with Potter’s spawn. There was no way, he simply refused to believe it.

“Papa?”

A whimper caught his attention. Against his better judgement he glanced over to see a tearful Harry reaching out for him. His heart clenched once more. Maybe he really was having a heart attack. He was certainly having trouble breathing through his panic at the very least.

“Just relax now and oh-” Poppy broke out into a beaming smile. “Well it looks like you were right James. You’ve both got another little one on the way, I’d say around two months”.

“So Christmas then, just like with Harry” Potter grinned, clearly elated.

“So it would seem. Are you sure you boys are up for the challenge? You’re still teenagers you know, only nineteen and about to have your second child. That’s a lot of responsibility”.

What did she say? Nineteen? Surely he must be going deaf. There was no way he’d heard that right, was there?

“We can handle it, right Sev?” Potter turned to him, a caring smile on his face as he clasped their hands together. It sickened him.

“Papa!” Harry demanded once more.

“Alright, alright little man. I’ll give you to your Papa, but you be careful alright? Your Papa has a baby in his tummy now, so he’s going to need lots of love and care, understand?”

Harry nodded solemnly, thrusting his arms forward and leaving Severus no other option but to hold him. Fortunately for them both, Harry immediately burrowed beneath the covers, curled up carefully at Severus’ side. With an almost reverent awe he pressed his face against Severus’ exposed belly, pudgy fingers tracing the line of hair that Severus was very thankful was covered by his pyjama bottoms.

“Kiss!” Harry declared before pressing his lips against the faint curve of his belly.

In the back of his mind Severus registered Poppy and James’ coos and awes. But all he could focus on was the bile that was once again crawling up into his mouth.

What the hell had he done to deserve this?

Oh…right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rather than do two stories like i'd been thinking about, i'm gonna be switching between the adult Severus and his younger AU counterpart's stories. So i'll be covering both his AU self's past, how he and James got together etc and canon Severus' reactions to the life he's ended up with. 
> 
> Also to warn you, James will not be quite so innocent as he might seem. The man pursued Lily all throughout Hogwarts and I personally see him as doing something similar with Severus, Only instead of pursuing him, he's doing everything he can to keep him by his side. Not necessarily in an evil sense, he's just kind of a possessive spoiled brat who is used to getting his own way. And Severus is just kind of amazed people actually like him. It's sort of a new experience for him. But don't worry, the AU Severus is not going to just let James do whatever he wants. 
> 
> On a final note, thanks a million to everyone who commented and gave kudos to this fic. I can't believe only one chapter in and I have over 100 kudos already.

 

James had first fallen in love with Severus back when they were eleven. From the minute he’d barged into his room looking for a seat for him and his friends, he became enraptured by the small raven haired boy. As for the girl, well she was very pretty, James might have even fancied her. She however had very different ideas, scowling at him, calling him a rascal and ordering him out of their compartment. Despite what many might think, James could take a hint, even back then. She hadn’t been that pretty anyway and who wanted to put up with her nagging all the time? But the boy, Severus, James sure did like him.

He was quiet; already a plus compared to his redheaded friend, smart; if the third grade spell book he was reading was any indication and just the right mix of helpless and desperate for affection. He wasn’t exactly needy, not the way some of the pureblood girls his parents had introduced him to had been. With their whining and pleading with him to save them from stepping over a puddle, or remove a spider from their path, all under the misguided notion that it made them seem like a damsel in distress. So that James would play the part of their prince. Well not bloody likely.

No, Severus was nothing like them. He was helpless in a way that made something inside James’ belly clench, as if the idea that this boy was suffering in any way actually hurt him. It was something primal, something that demanded James just grab the boy and hide him from prying eyes. But common sense held him back, as unbelievable as that might sound. It was there, James just never listened to it. So instead of dragging him off there and then, James had done the next best thing. He plastered himself to the boy’s side, wrapped an arm around his bony shoulders and glared at the girl until she finally fell silent, though her eyes continued to blaze. And if his arm should happen to slip to the boy’s thin waist, well that was purely by accident of course.

Thankfully for everyone, Remus and Sirius, the two James had already made friends with, were able to distract the girl, Lily, until the trolley came around. Now James was no auror, at least not yet. He couldn’t decipher the clues and solve the mystery, but he could still tell when something was wrong. And judging by the state of Severus’ clothes, all second-hand, not to mention his battered old trunk and rather worryingly skinny frame, James concluded his new boyfriend was poor. Because of course at that point, with James’ arm wrapped around his waist for a good half hour or so, that meant they were dating. Not that James felt the need to tell Severus that. That would only give him a chance to say no.

Now James was a generous lad, he really was. He always let Jack, his mother’s Jack Russel, finish off his leftovers, especially his vegetables. What a weird dog he was, but James loved him all the same. And he always let Mipsy, his own personal house elf, clean his room whenever she asked. She always smiled at him for that, that meant she liked it didn’t she? So of course when faced with a brand new boyfriend (who still didn’t know they were dating) who was so obviously in need of financial aid, James did what any spoiled pureblood child thought was right. He bought the entire contents of the trolley, flashed the woman a charming smile, as the manners his parents drilled into him demanded he do, then proceeded to hand them out to everyone in the carriage. Of course he made sure Severus got first dibs, he’d done it for him after all.

Strangely enough Severus didn’t seem too thrilled with his grand gesture, not at first anyway. But James hadn’t worried, he knew Severus was sure to come around. It was probably because no one had ever done anything like that for him, that had made him tense the way he had. Perfectly understandable. But soon enough Severus had given into his coaxing, although it had taken James offering to feed him to get him to give in and eat. It was a shame, James had been all for feeding him, merlin knows he could do with fattening up. But at least it got him eating. Baby steps as James had to remind himself.

Then the subject of houses had come up, James had been horrified to learn that Severus had been considering Slytherin. His first reaction was one of horror mixed with disgust, though he at least attempted to hide it. Slytherin? Over his dead body. No way could he let Severus join those slimy snakes. They were evil, everyone knew that. Except Severus apparently, but as James soon learned he was only a halfblood who’d been living in the muggle world. James could forgive his ignorance; he couldn’t be expected to know everything.

“What about Ravenclaw? You were reading that book earlier weren’t you? That’s a third year spell book”. James had asked. He just had to get Slytherin out of the boy’s mind.

“Trust me, you don’t want Slytherin. My whole family’s been in it, you don’t want to end up like them” Sirius had added. It was the first time he’d really spoken to the other boy.

“But I-” Severus began.

“I was thinking about Ravenclaw too” Remus admitted, in that soft-spoken way of his. “I really like reading” he added after everyone turned to look at him.

James had been thrilled, he’d clearly chosen his friends well. Already he could tell they were changing Severus’ mind. His words had become more uncertain, he’d taken to leaning on James just a little more. As if waiting for his approval. James had been quick to give it, giving him a cheeky grin which only made the pale boy blush a delightful shade of red. James made a note of it, he was sure he’d be having fun with that later.

“What’s so wrong with Slytherin?” Lily had asked, Severus had only ever spoken good things about Hogwarts. He’d never mentioned anything evil about it to her.

“You’re a muggleborn yeah?” James had asked, receiving a nod in return. “Well there’s four houses; Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, named after the four founders of Hogwarts. Gryffindor is for the brave and chivalrous, Slytherin is for the cunning and ambitious, Ravenclaw is for those with wit and wisdom and Hufflepuff is for the loyal and honest. At least that’s what they tell us. Really though, Slytherin is for the bad guys; they’re obsessed with blood purity and all that rot. Dark wizards the lot of them. Gryffindor is the best, it’s full of heroes throughout the ages. Ravenclaw, that’s more for the really smart students, like you”. James paused to give Severus a smile, his arm moving to pull him even closer against him. “And Hufflepuff is, well to be honest it’s kind of the dumping ground for whoever’s not good enough to get into the other three”.

“That’s horrible!” Lily had exclaimed. “How can you say that?” She was quite clearly outraged.

“It’s true though!” James had protested. Sirius had been quick to back him up. “I’m not trying to be mean” he added. It had just occurred to him that pissing off the girl Severus was so clearly friends with, probably wasn’t the best idea. “But everyone knows it’s true. Oh but don’t worry, I doubt you’ll end up a Hufflepuff” James had added. He’d only said it to try and smooth things over a bit. Lily still looked quite peeved.

“Lily, don’t” Severus had spoken. While his voice was quiet, his words were not. In an instant Lily fell silent, looking at her friend with uncertain eyes. “I’m sure he didn’t mean how it sounded. He’s just excited about getting sorted, we all are”.

Severus had smiled at her, James found himself scowling. As soon as they were sorted he was asking Severus out. He wasn’t about to wait until Lily, with her sweet smiles and bright green eyes, or someone else came along and took what was his. Fat chance, Severus was his. James knew it and soon everyone would. Hell Sirius and Remus already seemed to know it, they’d both seen his arm around Severus’ waist and barely batted an eyelid. It made James smile to think how accepting his new friends were.

“Look, I’m sorry Lily. I don’t want us to fight, I’d really like us to be friends actually. Think we can start over?” Mother had always said keep your enemies close. 

Lily had only scowled, relaxing slightly when Severus reached over to give her a little nudge. “Fine, so long as you don’t go about insulting people you’ve never even met again”. Lily offered her hand out, waiting for him to shake on it.

“Deal”. James shook her hand, dropping it as soon as it was polite to do so. He still didn’t like her, but for Severus’s sake he supposed he’d have to put up with her.

Thankfully the rest of the trip remained uneventful. Sirius had pulled out a pack of cards and had roped Lily and Remus into playing with him. Even so, Lily had continued to sneak looks back at Severus, who had begun explaining what he’d been reading to James. Lily didn’t like him, James that is not Severus. The way he looked at her friend, well it unnerved her. She didn’t think it was because they were both boys, although that had been a strange sight to get used to, but James had just acted a little too friendly with her Severus. For as long as she’d known him, Severus had always shied away from another’s touch. It had taken weeks if not months for him to open up to her and accept her hugs. Yet here he was, with that snake Potter wrapping his arm around his waist like he owned him. And Severus was just letting him, why? It just made no sense to her.

‘Why wasn’t her doing that to her?’ Lily steadfastly ignored that little thought. Now was not the time to get jealous, even if James was a rather attractive boy. ‘And very generous’ her mind supplied again.

Yes, he was generous, buying all that food and sharing it with everyone. She’d seen the looks he gave Severus, the way his eyes had taken in his shabby clothes and skinny frame. It was obvious he’d bought the food for Severus, but at least he had the sense to know Severus wouldn’t just accept it. Severus had never been fond of charity, not even when it was disguised as friendship. It had led to many arguments between them, none of which Lily was keen on repeating.

No, Lily couldn’t let herself think like that. If James liked Severus like that, well she’d just have to deal with it wouldn’t she? That wasn’t to say she’d accept it. No the boy might be handsome and generous, but that didn’t mean he was good enough for her Sev. Nobody was, not after everything he’d been through and it was Lily’s job to protect him from scoundrels like Potter.

-

The sorting ceremony went just as James had hoped for. Naturally he’d ended up in Gryffindor as did Sirius. Lily too joined to house of the lions, although she made a point to sit with the other first year girls. She’d had her fill of Potter for the day. Remus, who had secretly feared it had all been a mistake and he’d be sent home, had been delighted with Ravenclaw. And as for Severus, well no one had clapped harder than James when the boy had been sent to Ravenclaw.

Severus had been conflicted with the sorting. His mum had been a Slytherin and he always thought he would be too. But James had made Ravenclaw sound like the perfect house for him, a house where knowledge was actually prized, it was almost too good to be true. Severus came to like the idea of being in Ravenclaw, smiling as his tie changed into the signature blue. Yet in the back of his mind he found himself wondering, why did he care so much what James thought? He never had before, but then no one had ever treated him like James had. Not really.

Severus found it a little disconcerting that in the space of a day, his head could be filled with thoughts of one boy and one boy alone. Yet as he glanced up to see James staring at him, that cocky grin appearing as soon as he noticed him looking, Severus couldn’t help the way his stomach twisted and turned. It didn’t make sense to him why James looked at him the way he did, not when there were so many other students to look at. Like Lily with her warm smiles and beautiful eyes, James should have been talking to her on the train, not him. Everyone always liked Lily better, it was just how things worked. But not James, no. He was different, he seemed to like Severus first. That never happened. Severus found he liked it.

James meanwhile had found it difficult to keep his eyes off Severus. Only breaking his gaze to reach for more chips. More than once he’d caught Lily and the girls she sat with staring at him. Each time he smiled at them, causing most of them to giggle and turn their heads, pretty blushes staining their cheeks. All but Lily. Not that he cared, what did he want those silly girls for? He had Severus and as soon as he had a moment free, he would ask him out all proper like.

Dinner soon ended and everyone was carted off to their common rooms. Sadly, James didn’t get a chance to find Severus, but no matter, come morning he’d find him. Besides, he did have other things to think about. Like what bed he wanted and what his new roommates would be like. Severus would still be there in the morning, for now it was time to explore his dorms a bit. Surely Sirius would help him, wouldn’t he?

While Sirius and James began to plot their first but certainly not last prank, Remus and Severus had been quick to secure the beds next to each other. Life in a new school was quite scary for them both, although the reasons for that different greatly. But without needing it said, they both made a pact there and then to stick together. Safety in numbers and all that.

-

As James watched the man he loved sleep soundly in their bed, he smiled.  A chubby hand reached up to touch his cheek, diverting his attention from his naked husband to the toddler in his arms. “What say you and I go raid the fridge, hmm? Would you like that Harry?” James grinned at the babble Harry gave in response, before a wide yawn left the toddler leaning against his chest. “Or perhaps we’d better get you to bed” James smiled.

Striding over to the crib, James carefully set little Harry down, carefully wrapping the blankets around him and giving him a kiss on his forehead. “Sleep tight champ”. Harry’s only response was a final yawn before his eyes slowly shut. As soon as he could be sure that Harry was indeed fast asleep, James returned to the bed where Severus lay dead to the world.

It had been a particularly good night for them both. James had just gotten a promotion, his first big one since finishing school in fact and naturally they had to celebrate. Getting Sirius to look after Harry, that had been easy enough. Harry adored both of his uncles and was always happy to see them. Finding the energy to leave the bed, now that had been significantly more difficult. It had taken three long hours, full of kissing, licking, sucking and fucking for the two to finally tire themselves out. In the end it was only the reminder that their child was waiting outside, that forced James out of bed. Severus had barely been conscious at that point; his hair mussed, his lips reddened and swollen and his dick still at half-mast. Such were the perks of being a teenager.

James had barely had remembered to grab a robe, well aware of what state he was answering the door in. At least Harry had been glad to see him, Sirius had just made a face.

“Fucking hell mate, can’t you crack open a window?” James hit him for that. Everyone knew not to curse around their baby. “Hey!” Sirius had protested. “Whatever, tell Sev I said hi”.

“Will do. Now get out of here. I’ll see you Monday” James had smirked back. With one last wave shared between them, James shut the door.

With Harry asleep and Severus still alone in their bed, James knew what he had to do. Climbing into the bed and pulling Severus flush against him, he finally sighed in contentment. He had everything he wanted right here. A beautiful baby, a gorgeous husband and another little one on the way. Well James hadn’t told Severus about that last part. Not yet anyway. Unbeknownst to his husband, he’d cast the spell a week or so. Should he have told him? Probably, but then he hadn’t told him when he’d gotten pregnant with Harry now had he.

No, Severus still believed Harry’s conception had been a happy accident. Only that wasn’t exactly true. You see James had always wanted a big family, what with the war and all children were more of a blessing than ever. So come Christmas day when they’d once again been fooling around, it was something of a tradition by that point to spend the morning in bed with each other, James had conveniently forgotten to cast the usual contraception spells.

Male pregnancy really wasn’t that uncommon, at least half of the wizarding population carried the gene to make it possible. Although for a muggleborn to possess it was unheard of, even for a halfblood like Severus, it was quite rare indeed. But Severus had always been quite the powerful young wizard.

Contraception spells had become as necessary as lubricating and stretching spells. A visit to Madame Pomfrey in first year, a mandatory requirement for all new students, had identified Severus as a potential carrier. While they were too young to be thinking of such things at that age, she still insisted on giving them both plenty of information to prevent any accidental pregnancies before they were ready. Why had she given James the same information? Well a week into first year and James had gotten Severus to agree to go out with him. They’d been inseparable ever since. Everyone said how cute it was, but Madame Pomfrey had seen enough of it over the years to see where it might lead.

Hogwarts had the unusual talent of producing couples deeply in love. Almost ninety percent of those couples survived past graduation and a further seventy-five percent went on to grow old together. Even back in first year, their professors had been sure the two of them would be part of that seventy-five percent. Provided they survived the war of course.

“Mmm, love you” James had mumbled against Severus’ neck. Severus only gave a happy sigh in response.

Their lives truly were perfect…or so James thought.

-

He was pregnant, he was fucking pregnant with Potter’s spawn. No wait it got better; he was pregnant with Potter’s spawn, he was nineteen and having had a chance to look at some of their old photos while James had been in the bathroom, he’d never been sorted into Slytherin. He was a goddamn Ravenclaw! Severus didn’t know which part galled him more. It probably should have been the pregnancy, or if not that then Potter. But Slytherin had helped make him into the man he was today, into the man he’d ended up dying as. Which let’s face it, wasn’t exactly a good thing. But Severus wasn’t really thinking rationally at that point.

“Papa!”

It was Harry again. The little one had stuck to his side ever since Poppy had told them the news. Severus still didn’t know what to make of it all. For years he’d grown to accept that children usually hated him on sight. Hell most of them were terrified of him and let’s face it, he kind of did it on purpose. His concern was with teaching them what they needed to know, teaching them how to survive. He had no time to mend hurt feelings or wipe away tears, he was a teacher not their bloody father.

“Papa!” Harry demanded again, this time more insistently.

Taking the hint, Severus picked him up. Harry immediately snuggled against him. By now Severus had learned to let him be, his one attempt at creating some distance between them had Harry bawling. Thankfully James had bought the excuse that the stuffed wolf he carried had fallen off the bed. Harry apparently loved it. It was a present from his Uncle Remus, who like Severus in this strange new world, had been sorted into Ravenclaw too. They were even best friends, as hard as Severus found it to believe. But then Remus probably hadn’t almost killed him in this world. Once again Severus found himself envying the Severus whose body he now possessed. The first time he’d felt envy had been when he woke up in that bed. Loathe as he was to admit it, it did belong to Potter after all, but that bed was heavenly.

“Wolf!”

Harry had lifted the toy for his Papa to inspect. His Papa was acting very strangely; he wasn’t nearly so smiley as he usually was. He was almost grumpy, as strange as that sounded to him. But Daddy had explained it to him. Papa was growing a baby in his tummy, like the flower he and Papa had grown on the windowsill. Growing a baby took a lot of work, a lot of time and sometimes it would make his Papa grumpy. Harry didn’t really understand it, but Daddy had done his best to explain it. The bigger the baby got, the heavier it would become and as it was safely tucked away in Papa’s tummy, he would have to carry around all that extra weight until the baby was ready to be born. Daddy explained Papa would get very tired around the time the baby would be born. So Harry knew he had to get as much playing done with his Papa before then. Harry wanted as much time with his Papa as possible, the special time that was only for them. Once the baby came along, there would be no more Harry and Papa time, it would only be Papa and Baby time. Harry didn’t like that idea so much.

“Yes, wolf. Do you want to play with it?”

Severus knew very little about babies, except that they cried, pooped and drank their weight in milk. So he wasn’t the best conversationalist when it came to them. Thankfully Harry didn’t seem to mind. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, the Harry in this world wasn’t nearly so annoying. Although, Severus took some time to consider the child babbling at the toy, that was probably because he only knew a few words.

Severus blinked as Harry began tugging at his shirt again. “Baby!” Harry demanded, it was becoming a bit of a habit.

“Baby’s sleeping. Why don’t you play for a bit?”

The baby was not sleeping; the baby wasn’t even visible yet. But like hell was Severus going to let Harry start listening to his stomach again, it was creepy enough the first time.

Harry pouted, Severus felt his stomach sink. He wasn’t going to start crying again was he? But fortunately for Severus’ already wavering sanity, Harry was easily distracted as his Daddy said those oh so familiar words.

“Honey, I’m home!”

Severus had never wanted to hex someone so badly in his life.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your kudos and comments. I cannot believe that for only two chapters I've already gotten over 200 kudos, that's just insane. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

It had been three days since Severus’ life had gone to shit. Three days since he’d awoken from death, found himself very much alive, with James fucking Potter in his bed and his spawn in his belly. And let’s not forget the other spawn who wouldn’t leave him the bloody hell alone. It was a miracle he hadn’t given himself a stroke with the amount of stress he’d been under. Not that he could tell anyone of course, no they’d only go and have him committed if he even tried.

“Wolf!”

Severus huffed as the toddler’s giggling could be heard clear from across the room. Harry laughed as the toy moved of its own accord, following him around the room and letting out the occasional howl. More than once Harry tried to join in, leaving the adults in stitches. Their laughter only increased when he tried scratching his ear with his foot like his toy. Even Severus found himself smiling at the sight, not that he’d ever admit it.

“He takes after you Prongs”.

Severus’ good mood instantly vanished, that tended to happen when he was confined to the same room as his arch enemy. Yes, Sirius Black; the man who tried feeding him to a werewolf, humiliated him at every turn and made his life miserable throughout his teenage years, was sitting in his living room. No wait, it got better. Now not only had Severus been sorted into Ravenclaw and not Slytherin, a fact he was still trying to get his head around, not only had Sirius never tried feeding him to a werewolf, but Sirius had never even tried to pull a single prank on him. What was even more disturbing was that he and Sirius were, he couldn’t even say it, they were…friends. It just beggared belief.

“Sev? Your tea”. A familiar voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

Ah yes, that would be the other problem. Without comment Severus took the offered cup, giving a cautious sip and barely suppressing a groan. As much as he loathed to admit it, Remus Lupin could make a damn good cuppa.

“How are you feeling?” Remus asked, clearly concerned.

“About the same”.

It was surreal for him to be discussing his other self’s pregnancy with the man who’d once almost killed him. Alright so this Remus wasn’t the same as his own back home, in fact the other him and this Remus were supposed to be best mates. But Severus just couldn’t ignore his own history with the man, even if it wasn’t the same man. He just couldn’t. He suspected Remus could sense something was off about him, he’d seen the looks he gave him from time to time. But what else could he do? This wasn’t his life, he didn’t want this life, he wanted…well he didn’t want his old life that was for sure. But that didn’t mean he wanted to be young again, married to Potter, stuck with a baby version of the boy who’d made his life very difficult and of course let’s not forget the fact that he was knocked up. He didn’t want this!

“Papa!” Little Harry had crawled over to him, his toy wolf forgotten as he smiled up at him. “Up!” He always had been a demanding little brat.

“I’ve got him, come on Harry up we go”. Remus, the blessing that he was, was quick to grab Harry for him. It gave Severus all of five seconds to relax before his lap was suddenly filled with a giggling toddler.

“Papa!” Harry exclaimed, kneeling up to give him a kiss. Severus could only sigh in acceptance. Well it was either that or he throw the child off. As tempting as it was, he had a funny feeling it wouldn’t be well received.

“Hey Harry what do you want more? A little brother or a little sister?” Sirius called from across the room.

“Wolf!” Harry exclaimed, giggling as Remus started tickling his belly.

“A little wolf? You want a little wolf as a brother or sister?” Sirius chuckled. Harry nodded solemnly once he calmed down. “Baby wolf” he declared, resting his head against Severus’ chest. Without even realising, Severus found himself stroking the boy’s back. Harry sighed a little in contentment.

“What about you Sev? Boy or girl?” Sirius asked, grinning up at him. It was a strange sight for the former spy to see.

“I don’t know” he admitted. He hadn’t even dared give the idea any thought.

 “I think I’d like a girl; I just wouldn’t have a clue what to do with one” James grinned. Sirius and Remus laughed along with him.

“Like with Lily you mean? The fights you two got into were legendary. I’m amazed you even lived long enough to see graduation” Sirius joked. That made Severus smile until a thought struck him.

Lily, oh god Lily. He’d barely even thought about her once and to think he’d been in love with her for all those years. Here he was drinking tea, relaxing in his chair and living the life she’d once claimed for herself. This was supposed to be her life, James was supposed to be her husband, Harry was supposed to be her kid for fuck’s sake. But no, in this sick, twisted world Lily had no such thing. It was as if Severus had taken her place, he was her replacement.

“What can I say, we both wanted to keep Sev happy. He didn’t like us fighting all the time so we put an end to it. Plus, we had Harry to think about” James smiled.

Severus barely paid attention to them, he was too caught up in his own thoughts about Lily. What had happened to her? Was she alive? She must have been; they’d never said anything about her death. But if she was alive where was she? Why wasn’t she here? There were just too many questions and not enough answers.

“Papa?” Harry’s worried voice broke him out of his thoughts.

Severus sighed, glancing down at the child. He’d spent most of his adult life looking out for this child, for Lily’s child. Yet now this child was no longer Lily’s but his own. It was a lot to come to terms with.

“I’m fine Harry”.

The look Harry gave him, was startling similar to the looks he himself would give anyone he considered to be particularly stupid. When he did it, it was intimidating and frightful (or so he’d been told), but when Harry tried it, well it was just adorable. He wasn’t normally one to just throw the word around like that, but as usual it seemed the littlest Potter was once again the exception to the rule.

“Lie bad” was all Harry said in response.

“Outsmarted by a toddler” Severus contemplated aloud.

“Looks like we’ve got a little Ravenclaw here” James grinned. He picked Harry up, throwing him into the air much to the boy’s delight.

“Hey you never know, with cunning like that he could be a Slytherin mate” Sirius teased.

“Blasphemy! C’mon Pads you should know better than to swear in front of my son. I won’t have the S-word in my house. Will I Harry?” James asked. Harry dutifully shook his head, cheeks still flushed from the excitement.

“Papa!” Harry demanded once more, reaching out to Severus with fierce determination.

“Alright, alright hang on. Here love, I’ll get him settled for you”. James smiled lovingly down at Severus, Severus meanwhile was doing everything he could to swallow down the bile that began reappearing in his throat.

Severus didn’t want to admit it, but he’d gradually been getting used to his new role. The idea that a baby was developing inside him still horrified him of course, even more so when he thought about just who sired it and what happened to get it in there. But there were elements of his new life that he did find himself enjoying. No students for one. There was no one whining about their essay, no one complaining about their marks, no one trying to throw stink bombs at him and thinking they’d get away with it. There was just peace. Instead of grading and teaching, his days were filled with research, drinking tea and playing with Harry. His food was brought to him, his clothes were of significantly better quality and if he ignored the price he had to pay to live such a life, it would have been paradise.

There was just one problem; Potter. The man was insatiable. In the morning he’d wake, pressing kisses to his neck. In the afternoon he’d find him pressed against his back, with a disturbingly familiar hardness digging into his arse. The evenings however weren’t so bad. It was the only time Severus felt grateful for his pregnancy; James it seemed had taken a vow of chastity, at least temporarily. In these early months the risk of miscarriage was a concern, James had been adamant that he wouldn’t do anything to harm his child, or indeed Severus. To say it was a relief was an understatement; as long as he could stomach the occasional kiss or hug, then James remained none the wiser. It was a small price to pay to keep the peace, but then Severus had grown used to making sacrifices for the sake of peace. Perhaps one of these days he’d actually get to experience peace for himself, well he could still hope.

“Anyone else hungry?” Remus asked, smiling as Harry immediately perked up.

“Food!” The toddler demanded. It was starting to become a habit with him, Severus noted.

“I’ll take that as a yes” Remus chuckled.

“I could eat, fish and chips anyone?” James asked, grinning as Harry held his arms out for him. “You coming with me to get them champ?” He laughed when Harry nodded eagerly, reaching down to pick him up. “Sev you want your usual?”

Severus nodded hesitatingly, what the hell was his usual? Was it the same as what he’d have back in his own world? Were fish and chips even the same in this world? Well, all the other food he’d had was still the same so it must be. Mustn’t it?

“Wait, are we all ordering just for us or are we gonna get a bit of everything?” Sirius asked, it was obvious which one he was hoping for.

“Like Hogwarts you mean?” James asked, a fond smile on his lips.

“The word you’re looking for is buffet” Severus interjected. It was a pleasant surprise when his response garnered laughter and smiles, as opposed to the ridicule and scorn he’d so often received back in his world.

“So what are we ordering?” Remus asked, looking embarrassed as his stomach gave an audible growl.

“Fish and chips twice, a couple of battered sausages, two fishcakes, a side of gravy and whatever you guys want”. James received disbelieving looks in response. “What?” James asked after a long moment’s silence.

“How the hell do you eat all that?” Sirius asked, his brow furrowed.

“You have gravy with fish and chips?” Remus asked at the same time, he looked an odd mix of disgusted yet intrigued.

“Only on the chips, Harry likes it. He keeps the fish separate though, he’s like Sev. Plus, I’m hungry” James whined.

“Hungry!” Harry agreed, smiling brightly. James gave him a fond look and ruffled his hair.

“Then I’ll have a battered sausage, steak pie and chips” Sirius said.

“Fish and chips for me, thanks” Remus added.

“So that’s three fish and chips, three sausages, two fishcakes, gravy and a pie and chips” James counted them off on his fingers. “Alright I think I got it. You coming with me champ?” James asked Harry.

Harry nodded, then paused with a troubled frown. “Papa?” Harry turned to Severus with a worried look and then turned back to James. “Papa!” Harry insisted. What was his Papa going to do if he and Daddy were gone? One of them needed to be with him to help protect the baby. Daddy had said so. It didn’t matter that Uncle Moony and Uncle Padfoot were with him, they didn’t know him like he and Daddy did.

“Papa will be fine, he’s with Moony and Padfoot isn’t he? They’ll look after him” James smiled encouragingly. Harry clearly wasn’t convinced. With a whine Harry held his arms out to Severus once more. The man only sighed, it had stopped being cute about twenty minutes ago. Now Harry was just being a brat, at least he thought so.

“It okay if he stays with you Sev?” James asked. He could see his husband was growing irritated, that wouldn’t do at all.

“Hey why don’t me and Moony go instead? I don’t think Harry wants to let Sev out of his sight. Wonder who he gets it from” Sirius chuckled. The other men smiled at that, although if Severus’ was a bit strained, no one noticed anyway.

“What can I say, he’s a Potter. We always did have good taste” James chuckled. Severus reluctantly allowed the man to wrap his arms around him, grateful for the distraction Harry provided so he could avoid anything more intimate. Fortunately, James didn’t seem to notice anything amiss, he only smiled indulgently at the pair. “There should be some muggle money on the mantelpiece. I got some exchanged for the last time we ordered out. Help yourself, I’d take forty just in case”.

Severus raised an eyebrow at the amount. Forty quid for fish and chips? Fair enough Potter was a pureblood with more money than sense, but forty quid was just ridiculous. Then again the man probably didn’t spare it a thought. Those with money rarely ever did.

“Right, you want us to get drinks too?” Sirius asked, halfway out the door.

“Nah, we have plenty. Just hurry up, I’m starving” James grinned.

“Bye!” Harry waved, his uncles smiled and waved in return.

“Won’t be long” Remus promised. Harry clapped his hands at that.

It was only after the two left that Severus realised he was once again left alone with Potter and his brat. Once again he sighed, frowning when Harry did the same. He raised an eyebrow at that, trying not to smile when Harry attempted to do the same. He heard James chuckling behind him as they both watched Harry scrunch his face up, clearly trying to imitate his Papa.

“You okay? You’ve been kind of quiet tonight. Something wrong?” Severus stiffened, what had given him away? He’d actually made an effort to act normal, he even smiled at the boy for merlin’s sake. What more did they expect from him?

“No, I’m just hungry” Severus replied. He relaxed as James grinned, clearly satisfied with his answer.

“Well that’s easily fixed. You had me worried, I thought something might be wrong. How’s the baby? Any problems I should know about?”

James was obviously a loving and devoted father; Severus had known as much the first time. As much as he’d hated to admit it, to admit that he’d lost everything he’d ever loved to the man that had made his life miserable, he’d never been able to deny that the man was a good father.

“No” Severus answered.

James smiled, obviously relieved. He leaned over to place a kiss on Severus’ forehead, the man allowing it without complaint. Well considering what the alternative was, Severus was willing to submit to this form of humiliation. He had a role to play, just like before. In his mind this was just another mission. If he tried to tell anyone about what had happened, about where he’d come form, they’d surely have him committed. He couldn’t trust anyone, not even the boy. As soon as that thought entered his head he scolded himself, even for him this paranoia was a bit much.

“Good. You fancy a cuppa?” Severus nodded, anything to get the man away from him. “Won’t be long, you’re okay to hold Harry aren’t you? I don’t think he wants to let you go” James smiled indulgently. Severus glanced down at the boy in his lap, he was inclined to agree with him.

“Sure”.

-

On his first day at Hogwarts Severus had been cautiously optimistic. He’d been at Hogwarts not even a full day and yet he’d already made friends. He just couldn’t believe it. For the longest time he’d been alone, then he’d met Lily. It was embarrassing to admit she’d been his first and only friend for quite some time. He’d become somewhat dependent on her, not that he’d ever admit it. But then, she knew nothing of the wizarding world, only what he’d told her. So really it all worked out, he needed her and she needed him. They were both happy with that. Severus only hoped Hogwarts wouldn’t change that too much.

At breakfast things had been rather hectic. Schedules had been handed out and every so often a student would cheer, moan, squeal or sigh over what they could expect for the rest of the year. Severus it seemed had been rather lucky. Charms, Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts would be taken with the Slytherins. Why was this lucky? Well there was a significantly lower chance of someone getting hexed, blown up or poisoned. Traditionally Ravenclaws and Slytherins worked well together, it was the only other house hardcore pureblood extremists considered acceptable to associate themselves with.

For his other classes, Severus was relieved to see he’d be sharing classes with Lily in Herbology, Flying and Transfiguration. While History of Magic and Astronomy classes would be shared with the Hufflepuffs. He had hoped to see more of Lily and maybe James, not that he’d admit to the latter, but there was nothing he could do but accept it.

“I don’t think they’re happy with their schedules” Remus noted, nodding towards the Gryffindor table.

Severus turned to look, it seemed James and Sirius were trying to incinerate the parchment with their eyes alone. While Lily lacked her usual cheerful personality. At least her new friends seemed to be trying to cheer her up. Severus was happy for her, no really he was…mostly. After a few seconds Lily glanced up at him, he smiled encouragingly at her to which she visibly brightened. Perhaps and he didn’t want to just get his hopes up, but perhaps she would miss him as much as he missed her.

Just as Severus was about to return to his plate, he caught sight of James staring at him. As soon as their eyes met James smiled widely, an action which sent many of Lily’s friends into a chorus of giggles and whispers, each obviously thinking the smile was for them. Severus smiled back, albeit a little hesitatingly, to which James visibly brightened before abruptly standing up. Severus barely had time to blink before James was at his side, obviously waiting for him so they could leave together. Confused and a little excited, he followed obediently, Remus and Sirius at their heels.

“I missed you, you know” was the first thing James said to him.

‘Why?’ Severus had first thought, “you did?” Severus asked.

James nodded sheepishly, “So what classes do you have? We’re stuck with the Slytherins for almost everything. I’ll only get to see you in Transfiguration, Flying and Herbology. I mean I like flying, but the other two sound boring. But I guess now I’ll have you there to make them not so boring”.

Severus might have been startled to learn that James was nervous. People like James weren’t supposed to get nervous over things like talking to people they liked, not when they had everything going for them. Money, looks, power and charm, why should they get nervous? But he was, nervous that is. Why? Well James liked Severus, really liked him. He was shy, ridiculously smart and with a little work he would be gorgeous. James wasn’t sure if anyone else could see it, but he wasn’t willing to risk it. He’d made his claim back on the train, but he had to be quick to make sure no one else got to Severus. Severus was his, he just hadn’t told him yet.

“I guess” Severus replied. “But you still have to pay attention, even if it is boring”.

“Yeah, yeah” James groaned. “Hey after class are over do you want to meet by the lake?” James asked.

“By the lake?” Severus asked, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. “Just the two of us?” Wasn’t that what people did on dates? But he was too young, wasn’t he? But wait did James even mean it like that? No of course not, no he must have meant as friends. Severus mentally scolded himself.

“Well, you can bring Remus if you want and I can bring Sirius. I mean, only if you want. I just thought we could talk some more, maybe get to know each other”. James shrugged his shoulders, dropping his gaze before lifting it to meet Severus’ own. Well it always worked on the girls back home, he only hoped it would work this time.

Severus felt his cheeks grow warm, “alright” he finally said.

“Great! Wait did you mean with the guys or just us?” It was pretty obvious which one he was hoping for. Thankfully said boys were stood a little way away, it looked to James like Sirius was concocting a prank. He’d have to ask him about that later.

“I uh, just us?” Severus said, for some strange reason he felt like he was asking for permission. Stranger still was the wave of relief he felt when James smiled widely.

“Perfect! That’s just, I mean I’ll uh, I’ll meet you by the lake after our last class. Just wait for me there okay?” James grinned, Severus nodded slowly. “Right, so I’ll see you there” James nodded. Severus did the same, frowning slightly as James made no move to leave.

“James?” Severus finally asked after an awkward silence stretched between them.

“Can I kiss you?” Judging by the horror-struck look on James’ face, he hadn’t meant to ask that.

“Wh-what?” Severus gaped at him, Sirius and Remus looked very much the same. Clearly abandoning their attempts at a conversation.

“No wait I uh, I didn’t mean to ask that! I mean, what I meant to say, well what I was going to say is, would you go out with me?” There he’d said it. Alright he’d royally cocked it up in the process, but at least he’d asked.

“You…what?” Severus blinked, try as he might he couldn’t get his head around it. “But, why? Why would you…?” Severus trailed off uncertainly.

James frowned, “why not?” James hadn’t meant to sound like some petulant child, but well, he kind of was. But he had to make Severus understand why he’d asked him out. Surely he knew just how great he was? And James was just as great, at least judging by the smiles everyone would give him, girls in particular. So if he was great and James was great, then together they’d be even greater! Surely Severus could understand that, couldn’t he? He was supposed to be a genius after all.

“But you’re you and I’m, I’m not like you” Severus trailed off rather pathetically.

“So? That’s a good thing!” Severus was surprised at that. “I’m not perfect, I can be loud and I don’t really like studying. You’re quiet and you do like studying. I can help you speak up more and you can help me with studying. That way we both win. Besides…” James looked a little flustered. “I like you, isn’t that enough?”

Severus was just grateful there was no one around to hear them. Well except for Remus and Sirius, who quite frankly were doing an appalling job at pretending not to be eavesdropping. With a thousand thoughts racing through his mind, there was only one that kept reappearing. It was a simple thought, one word really, yet he found that one word so difficult to say.

“Yes”. Wait, did he just say that? Judging by the blinding smile on James’ face, he had.

“Really?” James looked as surprised as he did, so did Remus and Sirius for that matter.

Severus nodded once more to be sure. “We should go; we have class” he said. Right now he just wanted to flee.

That seemed to snap James out of his daze. “O-Oh yeah, us too. I’ll meet you by the lake, remember that. And uh…” checking to see no one was looking, James surged forward and planted a kiss on Severus’ cheek. It was hard to tell which one was more embarrassed. “Bye” James added with a sheepish smile.

“Bye” Severus replied. He could feel himself blushing, just knowing it made him even more embarrassed.

With that, the two reluctantly parted ways with the Gryffindors heading to Charms and he and Remus heading towards the dungeons.

“So” Remus spoke up after a long silence. “Do you know where our class is?”

“I know it’s in the dungeons” Severus answered, still obviously embarrassed.

“Oi, kiddies! You got potions? C’mon I’ll take you. I’m a prefect so it’s kind of my job”. An older student stopped them, sporting the same blue tie as themselves. He gave them no choice but to follow them, only stopping to randomly high-five some of the older students along the way. “Right, here you are then. Word of advice, make sure you do the reading before class. Slughorn’s a right prick when he wants to be”.

It was at that moment a rather portly man came up behind the prefect, a strange expression crossing his face. “Is that so Mr Graham? Perhaps a week’s detention might change your opinion of me”. Severus only barely supressed his smile. The prefect understandably lost his.

“Right sir”. With that the boy left, Severus almost wished he could follow him.

“Right lads in you go”. Professor Slughorn nodded at them.

Inside a number of other students were already seated, although it was clear there were more to come. Severus grabbed a seat in front row, Remus claimed the one beside him. With nothing to do but wait, having already set up his potions ingredients, Severus idly flicked through one of his old potions texts. It had been his mothers and was already covered in various scribbles depicting changes to recipes, ideas for new ones and even arguments about why some potions were so completely useless. All of which Severus had written at one point or another. Not that he’d ever had much of a chance to create a potion with his mum, but he knew enough of the theory to just get a feel for it all. Remus looked suitably impressed. Just as Remus opened his mouth to ask him something, the last student entered.

“Right everyone. Settle down, settle down now. Now let’s begin shall we?”

As the lesson began and Professor Slughorn began to speak, Severus couldn’t help but think about what had happened earlier. To think he’d been worried about not making any friends. And yet, only one day in he’d made three. Then of course there was James, he was a friend wasn’t he? But then he wasn’t just a friend, not anymore. Now he was…well he was more. It was rather a scary thought. Scary, but still quite exciting.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few people seem to be confused by the switch between AU Severus and Canon Severus. The easiest way to look at it is that they are two different people. They have different memories, different experiences and clearly different outcomes. Canon Severus will not obtain his AU counterparts memories because while they share the same body they are not the same person. Having said that, they will eventually meet and will be able to learn more about each other. Hope that clears it up a bit.
> 
> Also just a little warning. There are some darker undertones in this story, namely James’ behaviour towards Severus. But I can promise you James doesn’t hurt Severus, he just manipulates him a little. Plays on his insecurities and that sort of stuff.
> 
> A massive thank you for everyone who gave me over 300 kudos for just three chapters. And thanks a million to everyone who reviewed!

 

For the first time in his life, Severus had found himself feeling accepted. He was no longer alone like he had been; now he not only had Lily, but he had James, Remus and Sirius too. But that wasn’t all, people in his classes actually came to talk to him. They all smiled at him and teased him in the way that friends do. He found people wanting to partner up with him, not just because he was smart because they actually seemed to like him. It was all very strange. Still, as strange as it was, Severus found himself quite liking it. People never used to give him this sort of attention, they only ever seemed to give him the bad kind. But now he only ever seemed to get the good kind of attention. Truth be told, he was beginning to feel a little spoiled by it all. Of course he had one person in particular to thank for all this. His boyfriend, James Potter.

Severus had never had a boyfriend before. Nor a girlfriend, nor in fact even a single friend until Lily finally came along. So this was all understandably new to him. He didn’t know how he was supposed to act, what he ought to say or even what stage they should be at in their relationship. Hell, he hadn’t even known there was such a thing as stages. But none of that mattered because James it seemed knew everything, as he so often claimed. He knew when to hold his hand, when to give him a smile and even when to wrap his arms around him in comfort. It was indeed very strange, but as Severus had come to learn even in this short amount of time, strangeness and James seemed to go hand in hand. It was best just to enjoy it, so that’s just what he did.

“Severus Snape?” Madame Pomfrey stepped out into the corridor where he and his fellow classmates were waiting. “It’s your turn. I take it Mr Potter will be joining you?”

“Yes”. He hadn’t even considered the idea that James would wait outside for him. That’s not what boyfriends did, at least James didn’t think so.

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry” James smiled at him.

Like everyone else, Severus entered the infirmary for his mandatory physical. Everyone had to have it done, hence why they named it mandatory, yet everyone seemed to have different theories as to why. Some claimed it was to check that students were mentally and physically fit to harness magic safely, others suggested it was to identify possible victims of abuse. Then of course was the third theory, that they were looking to identify potential carriers. Wizards with the unique ability to bear a child without serious consequence. In fact, if the rumours were to be believed, carriers were well known for being particularly fertile. It didn’t take much to impregnate one without their knowledge, or consent. Hence the need to identify them in their early years.

“Alright Severus, up you go. Now for now I need you to take your shirt of and lie back. I’ll start with checking your breathing”.

Madame Pomfrey turned to examine some nearby vials while Severus did as she asked. Feeling bold, he stuck his tongue out at James who responded in turn. The other boy grinned at him as he tugged his shirt off, even going so far as to whistle appreciatively. Severus only prayed the room was too dark for Madame Pomfrey to see him blushing.

“Careful Mr Potter or you’ll be waiting outside with the rest of them” Madame Pomfrey warned.

“Sorry ma’am”. James attempted to look chagrined, he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Deep breaths now Severus, there’s a good lad. Good, now stand up. I’ll be checking your height and weight next”. Madame Pomfrey spent the next few minutes checking his basic vitals. “Now I’m afraid Mr Potter will have to leave for this next part. I’m sure he knows why”.

Having already gone through his own physical, James was well aware why. But that didn’t mean he wanted to, he had to stay with Severus so he wouldn’t get scared. “Do I have to?” James dared ask, Madam Pomfrey didn’t seem very impressed.

“Yes”. She left no room for arguing. “Now how about a little privacy?” With a flick of her wand, the curtain around the bed closed around them. “Now can you take your trousers off for me love? Good lad. Don’t fret you can leave your underwear on, I only want to check for any illnesses you might have had”.

Her questions began innocently, asking about the foods he ate and such. But far too quickly for Severus’ liking, he found himself blurting out things he’d wanted to keep hidden. Things like his father beating him, his mother no longer caring and the strange sensations he’d sometimes get that he was very much sure wasn’t normal.

Throughout it all Madame Pomfrey remained calm and professional. And if her hand happened to curl around her wand a little too tightly, well Severus didn’t need to know that. She’d always thought herself to be a patient and compassionate woman. Yet the things he told her, albeit reluctantly and most likely accidently, disturbed her greatly. However one thing quickly became clear to her, he would never be returning home to such a life. Not if she had anything to say about it.

“Is something wrong?” Severus dared ask after a moment’s silence.

There was something alright, though whether it was right or wrong remained to be seen. “It’s nothing dear. Now you said something about feeling strange, can you tell me where? Is it in your tummy? In your chest?”

“It’s-” Severus paused, his cheeks positively burning, “-down there”. He pointed without looking, too embarrassed to look at her.

“I see. Does it hurt? Is it uncomfortable? Or does it feel like a sort of twisting sensation?” She had a pretty good idea what it was, though it wouldn’t hurt to be sure.

“The last one”.

“Alright pet. I’ve just got one more spell to do to check something and we’ll be done. You can put your clothes on now if you want, I’ll give you a little privacy”.

Severus eagerly grabbed his clothes, dressing in record time as he contemplated what she’d meant by checking something. What something? Was something wrong with him? Was it contagious? If it was, did that mean he’d have to leave Hogwarts? With each passing thought he felt himself become tenser. By the time Madame Pomfrey returned, James in tow, Severus had begun fearing the worst.

“Mr Potter stand over there, we have one last spell to do. Severus can you lie back down for me and stay as still as you can?” Severus did as he was told. “Excellent, now just relax and we’ll be done before you know it”. With that, Madame Pomfrey cast the spell, a single golden light hovering over his midsection told her everything she needed to know. “Alright, you can get up now Severus. Mr Potter, I think perhaps you’ll want to hear this as well”.

James was quick to do so, offering a bright smile and kiss on the cheek to his boyfriend, who barely managed to return with a smile of his own. “See, told you it wasn’t so bad”. Severus gave a hesitant nod in return.

“Did the spell find something? Is something wrong?” Severus asked.

“The spell certainly found something, but I assure you it’s nothing bad. As a matter of fact, it is a rather pleasant surprise. Now Severus I understand you grew up in a mostly muggle home, but did your mother ever talk to you about carriers?”

“You mean like carrier bags?” Severus asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

Madame Pomfrey smiled, it wasn’t the first time a muggleborn student had asked her that. “No dear. A carrier is a male wizard capable of carrying a baby inside them, which is where the name comes from. Ordinarily carriers come from pureblood families, where magic has had a chance to evolve over many years. With halfblood and muggleborn children, they usually lack the magical heritage needed to begin the process. However, when a halfblood child is particularly powerful, as I suspect you may be, sometimes that is enough to start the process. Now I’m sure you’ve already worked it out for yourselves, but Severus, you are indeed a carrier. And that makes you very special indeed”.

The two boys stood there in stunned silence. One with his mouth agape and the other who looked close to fainting at the news.

“You mean he-” James struggled to speak, surely a first for him.

Madame Pomfrey nodded at him.

“Bloody hell!” James exclaimed, his mouth splitting into the biggest grin they’d ever seen him wear. “Oh uh, I mean-” James trailed off sheepishly.

“I have some books I’d like you to read Severus. They should answer any questions you might have about any of this. But I want you to know that if there’s ever anything else you need to know, please feel free to come see me for a chat. Alright boys, you’re free to go”.

Severus was quick to leave, his books clutched to his chest as he hurried away. James followed behind, unable to keep the dopey little grin off his face as he considered Madame Pomfrey’s words. He was without a doubt the luckiest wizard on the planet. He’d known when they first met that Severus would be special to him, but he’d never imagined he’d be _this_ special.

-

Something was wrong with Papa and harry was determined to find out what. It was strange that Daddy, Padfoot and Moony seemed to think everything was normal. Everything was very un-normal, why couldn’t they see that? This Papa was so much grumpier than his Papa. His Papa was all smiles and cuddles, but this Papa always looked so sad. Why was he so sad? Harry didn’t like it when his Papa was sad, he didn’t like it at all.

“Up!” Harry demanded. His strange new Papa sighed before complying. “Kiss!” Harry requested, no it wasn’t a demand because demanding for things was very naughty. Or so his new Papa had told him.

As he gave Harry his kiss, Severus contemplated his life. He’d lived a life of suffering, died so that the spawn of his enemy could live and save everyone, woken up in this twisted world where he wasn’t a Slytherin and had gotten knocked up by said enemy. And let’s not forget that whole marriage thing to Potter. What the hell was the him in this world thinking? Surely he could have done better than Potter.

“Papa?”

“Yes?” Severus did not like the look in the boy’s eyes.

“Where Papa?” Harry asked, tilting his head to the side.

“You mean Daddy? He’s at work, remember?” ‘And thank Merlin for that’, Severus thought to himself.

“No, not Daddy. Where Papa?” Harry repeated, his brow furrowed in concentration.

Good question. “I’m right here Harry”. ‘Where are his glasses?’ Severus wondered. ‘Can he even wear glasses at his age?’

“No, where my Papa!” Harry demanded loudly, hitting the floor with his tiny fists.

‘I need a drink’ Severus thought to himself.

“I want Papa!” Harry screamed. It was the first time Severus had ever seen his scream.

“Shit, I really need that drink” Severus muttered aloud.

It was only when Harry began crying that Severus began to really panic.

“I’m home! Hey, hey, hey what’s going on here? Harry what is it? Did you fall down? Are you hurt?” Like a knight in shining armour James entered the room. His normally bright smile diminishing as he took in the sight of his wailing toddler and kneeling husband.

“Papa!” Harry wailed, his arms reaching towards Severus.

James relaxed almost instantly. “You wanted your Papa, is that it? Did something happen?” James turned to his husband.

“He wanted his Papa and then he just started crying” Severus answered. This was why he didn’t like kids.

“Oh? Is that all Harry? You just wanted your Papa? But you have Papa all to yourself while I’m at work, isn’t that enough?” James asked softly.

Harry shook his head, still too upset to speak. It was probably just as well.

“Sev you okay to hold him? Is your back still bothering you?”

It was things like this that really pissed him off. Potter was acting so nice, so caring and reliable, like a responsible adult and not the utter dick he used to be. And what was worse is that he couldn’t do anything about it. The man was a godsend, it pained him to say it, but fatherhood really had changed him for the better.

“A little” he admitted. How could it not when he was carting around a baby in there?

“Here, let me make this more comfortable for you. Can you hold Harry? If not, we can get Mimzy to look after him for an hour or two”. James moved to rearrange the cushions on the couch, before helping his husband lie down.

“Give him here”. He’d surprised himself, he hadn’t thought he’d cared so much about the brat. Yet the mere thought of having the house elf looking after his son made him very uncomfortable. No, Potter’s son, that’s right. Not his son, Potter’s son. Clearly he’d been spending way too much time around the Potter family.

“Okay Harry, be careful okay? Papa needs to lie down for a bit because of the baby. But if you’re careful, I’m sure he’ll be happy to have you lie down next to him. Okay?”

Harry sniffled in response, conceding with a nod. Surprisingly, to Severus that is, Harry made no further mention of what had transpired. In fact, he seemed all too eager to cling to him as though he hadn’t seen him in years. It disturbed Severus to realise he could actually feel tears welling up.

‘Blasted hormones!’ Severus thought to himself. When in doubt blame the hormones.

“There we go, all better. Now why don’t we get dinner started? Harry what would you like?” James smiled at his son, poking his cheek and getting a watery smile from the boy.

“Ro’ ‘tatoes” Harry answered, rubbing his hands over his face.

“Roast potatoes? And what else? Surely you don’t just want roast potatoes by themselves. That’s boring!” James chuckled lightly.

“Gravy!” Harry demanded. His outburst was rewarded with another poke.

“Roast potatoes and gravy. Anything else your majesty? What about chicken? Or beef?”

“Chicken” Harry agreed after a moment’s pause.

“You need vegetables too. If you want it to be a proper meal you have to have vegetables”. Severus surprised himself by interjecting. James came him a fond smile for his efforts.

Harry wasn’t impressed, even going so far as to pout at them both. “No!” he demanded. “Don’t want!”

“Not even peas?” James coaxed.

Severus winced, he hated peas. Couldn’t stand them in the slightest. Not since he was little and they looked like little balls of snot to him. Just the thought brought him close to retching.

Harry looked up at his Papa, he saw the face he made. But that didn’t make sense. His Papa hated peas too and Daddy knew that. Did Daddy tell this Not-Papa that he didn’t like peas just so Harry wouldn’t know it wasn’t really his Papa? Harry whined at the thought. Why did everything have to make no sense? It made his head hurt just thinking about it.

“Icky” Harry replied. When he saw his Not-Papa make another face, Harry felt happy. His Not-Papa wasn’t so bad after all.

“Do you want some turnip?” James turned to his husband like he’d gone mad. Then back to his son who nodded enthusiastically.

“Turnip? What kind of kid likes turnip? What have you been doing to our son?” James whined, grinning when Harry began giggling.

“You mean besides getting him to eat his vegetables?” Severus shot his husband a look. He then paused, frowning slightly. Had he really just labelled Potter as his husband? Without the slightest trace of hostility or disgust? What the hell was wrong with him?

“Do you really like turnip Harry or are you just agreeing with whatever Papa says?” James asked, tickling his son as he lifted him back down onto the floor.

Harry shook his head. “Turnip and gravy, mmm” Harry rubbed his belly with a wide smile.

“And chicken and roast potatoes, those are mmm too” James mimicked his son’s actions.

As he watched the two rub their bellies, tickle each other and laugh, Severus felt his good mood vanish in an instant. This was what he could never have, this was what he never had for himself. Never before had someone claimed to love him the way James so clearly did. Never before had he had the chance to feel fulfilled and happy with his lot in life. No, instead all he’d gotten was pain, suffering and a whole lot of aggravation for every little thing he did. And what had he got out of it? More pain, more suffering and eventually death. And now he was here, living someone else’s life. He had stolen someone’s husband, stolen their son and robbed them of the chance to feel their baby grow inside them. But why? Why had he been sent to replace his other’s self’s life? Where was his other self? Had something happened? Was there something going on he didn’t know about?

“Mimzy?” James called.

Severus blinked, refocusing on the world around him and barely managing not to startle as he found Harry’s face barely an inch from his own.

“Papa sad?” Harry asked, his earlier tears forgotten as he examined his Not-Papa carefully.

“Papa…confused” Severus admitted. Though he made sure James was out of earshot before doing so.

“Why?” Why indeed.

“Because I have a lot of questions and very few answers”. He hoped that would satisfy the boy’s curiosity.

“Oh. Me too” Harry replied. He paused before moving close to snuggle against his Not-Papa’s chest.

“You too?” Severus frowned in confusion.

“You too what?” James asked as Mimzy popped away to carry out his orders.

Severus froze, trying desperately to think of something, anything that would make sense. Fortunately, Harry was a little quicker on the uptake. Not bad for a two-year-old.

“Turnip!” Harry declared with a cheerful smile. “Papa like turnip. Harry like turnip. Daddy no like turnip”. Harry frowned towards the end. “Bad Daddy” he declared after a moment’s pause.

James chuckled. “So I’m a bad daddy am I?” He wasted no time in tickling the little boy, laughing as his son squirmed and shrieked in delight.

Severus remained quiet, watching the two with ill-disguised longing. Not to be rolling around on the floor like an animal, especially not in his condition, but to just feel like he was part of something. Something that didn’t end in death, despair and disaster. It was pretty pathetic, when he forced himself to think about it, that once again he’d found himself envying the man who’d made his life miserable. It seemed no matter what universe he lived in, his life just had to revolve around the Potters. But funnily enough, as he watched the two roll around some more, he found it harder and harder to care. Could it be…no that wasn’t possible! No, nothing had changed, he still hated it here. He hated what he’d been made into. He did, he really did! Didn’t he?

-

Severus had never imagined he’d be popular. He was ugly, skinny and far too smart for his own good. How could someone like that ever become popular? Yet somehow he’d managed it and it was all thanks to one person. James Potter, his first ever boyfriend. And only boyfriend if said boy had anything to say about it.

“Hey do you think you could help me with this Sev?”

“Hey Sev, you going to the game?”

With James around, people were happy to approach him. And even when he was nowhere in sight, they still came up to him and talked. Not just about schoolwork either, though they did ask him for his help all the time, but about quidditch and chess and all sorts of things. But there was another reason for his newfound popularity, besides James. One reason with just one word; carrier. As it turned out, that one word alone was enough to make many people like him just that little bit more. Severus didn’t know how he felt about that.

“Something wrong?”

Severus blinked. “Ah, no. No I was just…thinking” he finished lamely.

James grinned, pushing his glasses up. “Well don’t think too hard, it looked like it hurt”. James’ laughter halted abruptly as Severus elbowed him in the stomach. “Ah, hey! Is that how you’re supposed to treat the person you love?” James whined, pouting slightly.

Severus stilled, his good mood suddenly gone. He wouldn’t know, would he? That was the way his dad treated his mum, and mums and dads were supposed to be in love, weren’t they? But his weren’t. He wasn’t sure they ever had been.

“Sev?” James nudged him, leaning in close. “If something’s wrong, you know you can tell me. I’ll fix it for you”.

“Thanks, but it’s really nothing. Honest”. He was lying through his teeth.

James didn’t look convinced. “Well okay, if you say so. Hey you wanna walk around the lake with me? Just the two of us? It’ll be nice and quiet and we can just talk and stuff”.

Severus was pretty sure James wasn’t as interested in talking as he was in doing other stuff. But then, so was he. Not that he’d ever admit it of course, well not out loud anyway. That was just too embarrassing.

“Well…”

“C’mon it’ll be fun. Please?” James looked at him pleadingly.

“Alright” Severus relented, flushing as James drew him into a hug. “Stop, people are looking!” It was embarrassing doing this sort of thing in public.

“So? Let them look, they should know we belong to each other. If I don’t do this, then someone might come and take you away from me. You don’t want that, do you?” While James acted carefree, there was a distinct edge to his voice as he asked his question.

“No”. Severus didn’t even think about his answer; he didn’t need to. He’d say anything to stop James being upset with him. He’d noticed the strange edge in his tone and he didn’t like it at all. It reminded him of his parents, but James wasn’t anything like his parents. No, he was nice to him. He said he loved him. Why would he want to leave someone who loved him?

“Good”. Happy James was back, Severus was relieved. “C’mon let’s go. Oh wait, do you need to take your books to your room? I can wait outside if you do”.

“No”.

“Great. C’mon, we should probably stay close. Maybe we could hold hands?” James asked hopefully.

Considering they’d already kissed and James had seen him half naked, holding hands should not have been as nerve wracking at it was. Not trusting himself to speak, Severus nodded with a hesitant smile. He was rewarded with a bright smile of James’ own.

“Thanks Sev” James murmured to him. They both made their way outside, ignorant of the way some of the older girls would stop and coo at them.

“For what?” Why was James thanking him?

“For being my boyfriend. I was kind of afraid I’d mess this up” James admitted nervously.

“You were?” But he acted so confident, so sure of himself.

“Yeah”.

“Me too” Severus admitted. James rewarded him with another smile.

Without warning Severus found himself pressed closer to James, the other boy’s arm resting casually around his waist. Risking a look, Severus was surprised to see James’ cheeks reddening beneath his glasses. Strangely, knowing he was embarrassed made it easier for him to mimic the action. Right down to the reddened cheeks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had meant to update this at the weekend but things kept getting in the way. Anyway I will definitely update within the next two months, I’ll be updating all my other fics before I update this one again. But I’ll try and update a little earlier if I can.
> 
> Also just a little explanation, in case anyone was wondering. Madame Pomfrey lets James join Severus for parts of his examination because everyone considers them pretty much inseparable. As they’re only eleven it’s not really that concerning, everyone thinks it’s kind of cute. By everyone I mean the teachers/upperclassmen.
> 
> I think that’s everything. Once again thanks for everyone’s support!
> 
> KB


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lost count how many times I rewrote this. I just couldn’t get it started but once I did, it was just so easy.
> 
> Anyway, as always thanks for everyone’s support. Everyone’s response has been amazing so far. I can't believe I already have over 400 kudos, it's just mind blowing!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Severus Snape hated James Potter. So what if he was married to him, pregnant by him and they had a child together? It didn’t mean he wasn’t still allowed to hate the man. He may be invading another him’s body, speaking of which he should probably start looking into that, but that didn’t mean he was just going to take over the man’s life. Fair enough he wasn’t exactly the perfect example of a morally upright individual, but he wasn’t that bad surely. Taking over another man’s life, even if it was his younger self from another universe, just wasn’t right.

“That feel good?” James murmured behind him. He shifted, hitting just the right spot and Severus gasped out his pleasure. In an instant he felt boneless; his muscles no longer tense as all he could seem to do was lie there and bask in the feeling.

“Feels amazing” he admitted. “Ah, just a little to the left. There, right there! That’s the spot”. He let out another indecent moan, one he’d be sure to be mortified by later. But for now he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Right there?” Severus moaned again. “Fuck, the things you do to me”. James panted against his neck.

“Masters? You have a visitor”. Mimzy popped into existence, waving at little Harry who giggled and waved back.

James coughed, his cheeks flushed as he attempted to conceal his crotch. “Right, yeah. Just uh, let them in, won’t you? We’ll be right there”. He looked back forlornly at Severus, unable to tear his eyes away from the very appealing sight before him. “Love, think you can move again?” he teased. He chuckled as Severus tried to glare at him.

“Mmm, do I have to?” Severus gave a long suffering sigh, reaching over to grab his discarded shirt. “That was one hell of a massage”. He leaned back carefully, mindful of his growing belly.

“Yeah, ‘fraid so. I mean we do have a guest”. He just couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight. Nor could he keep the soppy smile off his face. But could you blame him? That was his husband right there. His incredibly gorgeous husband who was carrying his child, as evidenced by his swollen middle. It was proof to everyone what they’d created together. It was his proof that Severus was his and only his. And it was just beautiful. “Oh here, let me help you”.

Severus really should have cared more, even if it were only on principle. He hated Potter, he was still adamant about that, but after that massage, well, he could at least put off hating him for another hour or so. The man deserved that much. But only an hour mind you.

James leaned forward, helping Severus pull on his shirt. And if his hands happened to rest on the bump for longer than was perhaps necessary, well Severus just didn’t have it in him to argue. After all it was his kid, what right did he have to say no to such a simple thing? Just so long as his hands didn’t start wandering. He doubted he’d be able to blame his hormones, on the inevitable freak out that would cause.  Potter wasn’t that stupid.

“Thanks” Severus murmured. He winced as he stood, swaying a little as he waited to get used to standing again. But soon enough he was ready, he certainly wasn’t comfortable, but he was ready.

“Right, so who did you invite over?” James asked as they trudged to meet their guest.

“Me? No one, I thought you did?” Severus replied, frowning. That caught James’ attention.

“No…Pads and Moony already have access to the wards. They’d just barge in like they always do. Maybe…I think you should wait here”. Severus glared at him. James held up his hands, “just until I see who it is. I don’t want to risk you both getting hurt”.

Severus frowned at that, unaware that his hand had come to rest on his belly. You’d think with all his years of experience as a spy, that looking out for the wellbeing of Potter’s child wouldn’t be so difficult. But it was. He’d grown so used to sacrificing his own health for the greater good, he struggled with the idea that the child’s life was tied to his own. Quite literally in fact. He couldn’t do what he usually would, by casting spells and throwing hexes. No, instead he was being forced to rely on people he still couldn’t bring himself to trust. But then, that wasn’t exactly a surprise. He never had found it easy to trust others and for a very good reason. His death was proof of that.

“Alright, fine. Just…be safe”.

James smiled at him, sending a shiver of something, Severus couldn’t quite place it, down his spine. He wasn’t even sure if it was a good feeling or a bad feeling. He just didn’t want Potter dead. Was that really so unreasonable? If he died, he’d be stuck with two of his brats. Plus, well despite all his griping, the man really wasn’t as bad as Severus remembered him.

“You know I will”.

Yes, because Potter was well known for thinking things through and not acting rashly. Harry too. Hell, it seemed the Potter line in general had trouble keeping out of trouble. Or maybe it was just when they were around him.

Severus waited for what felt like hours, when in fact barely a minute had gone by. He hated feeling like this, stuck on the side-lines with nothing to do but fret. He wasn’t worried about Potter, no of course not. But his curiosity was screaming at him to find out what was going on. A side effect from his lifetime of teaching and spying he supposed. He just couldn’t stand not knowing things, he never could. And look where that got him.

James returned, though he didn’t look particularly happy. “It’s safe” he said.  “At least it is for you,” James added under his breath. Severus frowned at that, was that really supposed to reassure him?

Severus entered the room, half convinced it was Remus or Sirius playing some kind of trick. Only it wasn’t Remus nor Sirius, but a certain someone he’d spent his entire life devoted to.

“Lily?” Severus breathed out.

“Hello Severus”. She smiled at him, looking as beautiful as the day they’d first met. “It’s been a while”. She didn’t know the half of it.

“Papa!” They both startled, turning to see James carrying Harry in his arms.

At the sight of Harry, they both froze, but for very different reasons Severus was sure. This was, back in his world at least, Lily’s son. It was a stark reminder that he was living her life, he’d become her replacement. He stolen her husband, stolen her child and taken the life that should have been hers. Although to be fair, she hadn’t had much of a chance to enjoy it. He had to remind himself that this wasn’t his Lily. Not really. If she had been, she’d have been crying and smiling and hugging her baby boy. But she wasn’t. She was just staring at him, staring at James as though she couldn’t believe the sight they made. It wasn’t too far off what he’d been like in the beginning.

“Papa!” Harry demanded again, straining forward as he made grabby hands towards him.

Despite himself, Severus smiled. Every time Harry made a beeline for him and not James, as petty and vindictive as it sounded, he loved it. In his own small way, it was his way of getting back at the Marauders from his time. The idea that his son would be raised by his enemy, loved by him even, well that would be absolute torture to the man.

“Hello Harry. Do you remember me?” Lily smiled at the boy, who turned to nuzzle shyly into his Papa’s neck. After a moment he peeked out again, shaking his head and hiding his face once more. “I see, well I’m not surprised. You were only a baby when we first met. But you came just at the right time, after our exams were all done. I remember your Papa was so happy when you were born. We all were. Did you know, I knew your Papa before we even went to Hogwarts? I knew him first, before anyone else. Even your daddy”.

Harry gaped, his eyes wide at this revelation. “You did? But…you no come back”. Harry frowned at her. “You make Papa sad. Me no like Papa sad. Me like Papa happy”.

“Well I-” Lily looked speechless. James on the other hand, looked rather smug. Not for the first time, Severus had to wonder what had happened.

“Very good Harry, my clever little man. That’s right, we like Papa to be happy, don’t we?” Harry nodded eagerly at his Daddy’s words. “We don’t like people who make Papa sad”. Lily quite clearly winced at his words. “No we don’t” James added.

Clearly something had happened between them. Only Severus had no idea what it was. It was driving him mad.

“James I’m-” Lily began.

“Sev’s pregnant”. There was no mistaking the smug, satisfied grin that James now sported. “We couldn’t be happier, right love?” James leaned over to kiss him.

Severus barely registered the kiss, his body responding on autopilot. Instead his focus was on Lily’s reaction. Put simply, it wasn’t good.

“Severus? You’re…again? That’s, I mean I…” Lily gaped at him. Though why she hadn’t realised it until now, he had no clue. It wasn’t like he’d been hiding it. Although he supposed his robes may have covered it somewhat. “Congratulations” Lily smiled hesitatingly.

Something was wrong. Okay if you wanted to get technical, this whole damn universe was pretty fucked up. But this, he’d never seen Lily act like this. She just looked…heartbroken. Her eyes were wide, her hands were trembling and were those tears? What the hell was going on here?

“Why don’t we sit down?” Severus did just that, waiting calmly for the other two to start moving. He let Harry slide to the floor, smiling as the boy giggled before handing him his wolf.

Lily sat, tucking her skirt in carefully, her eyes never leaving the boy on the floor. James, rather predictably, sat down next to Severus. After some pouting, Severus sighed, allowing the man to pull him closer. It wasn’t the first time James had been a brat about seating arrangements and if he wanted to get to the bottom of this, Severus knew he had to keep the man happy.

“So you’re pregnant again. At nineteen. Well that’s…exciting”.

She didn’t look very excited. Had this sort of thing happened in his world, his Lily would probably scream at him for doing something so ridiculously stupid. Then of course she’d cry, realise she’d be an aunt and demand to know every little thing. Provided of course James hadn’t been the father. If he had been, like he was here, well Severus would have probably just fled. If only he’d done that to begin with, perhaps then things wouldn’t have gone to shit.

“So how have you been? What have you been up to?” He despised small talk, always had. He’d never been very good at it you see. He’d never seen the point in it. But to keep Lily feeling into the night (or day as it were), he was willing to suffer through it just this once.

“Well…I had meant to tell you earlier, but things just got so hectic at work. But I came to tell you, I’m…I’m engaged”. Lily smiled nervously, her smile souring at the disbelieving look on James’ face. As if to prove her point, she held out her hand, letting the men see the diamond ring on her finger.

“Engaged! Lily that’s…wow”. Severus was at a loss. How was he supposed to react in this kind of circumstance?

“Wow is definitely the word I would use for it. So who’s the lucky man?” James leaned forward to get a better look. He smirked at the scowl Lily sent him.

“His name is Septimus. He’s two years older than us and he attended Beauxbatons. He’s training to become a Dragonologist. That means he’s going to work with dragons”. Lily explained to Harry who looked interested.

“Can he fly?” Harry asked, cocking his head to the side. “Daddy flies on a broom! Papa too before baby came” he explained.

Lily smiled, “I don’t think he can fly on his own. But if the dragons like him, they might let him fly on their backs”.

“Oh” Harry nodded. Then he reached for his wolf and began chewing on its ear, apparently done with the conversation.

“He sounds like a good man”.

Actually he sounded like a bit of an idiot if you asked him, but he doubted Lily would appreciate that. But seriously, dragons? It was Charlie Weasley all over again. Dear god, he hoped he wouldn’t run into any of the Weasleys in his current condition. The stress alone might kill them both.

“He is” Lily smiled. “It really has been too long since we’ve seen each other Sev. I just, I know I was quite shocked earlier about your pregnancy, but it just seems like you only just had Harry. But look at him, oh he’s gotten so big! I only wish I’d been around to see him grow up. But of course my work has kept me so busy. And then the whole thing with Septimus and moving to Italy, oh I forgot to tell you, I live in Italy now! You really must come visit, after the birth of course and when you’ve had plenty of time to recover. And James too”. James snorted at that, Lily glared and Severus jabbed him with his elbow.

“Ow! Hey, what was that for?” James frowned.

“Harry, can put your hands on your ears for me?” Severus gestured to the boy who giggled and did just that. Severus smiled, turning to the others and making sure Harry couldn’t see his face. “Okay, this I getting ridiculous. I don’t care if you don’t like each other. James, stop being a dick. You’ve been acting like a brat ever since Lily arrived. I…I love you, you know I do. For god’s sake you’re acting like she wants to kidnap me or something. I think this bloody baby bump is proof enough I’m stuck with you, I’m not leaving. So grow up. Lily that includes you”. That definitely pissed her off, but he was already on a roll. “Look, yes I’m pregnant again. Yes you left me and missed seeing Harry grow up. You left and I…I missed you. You’re…you know I love you. You were my first real friend. And I know you must worry about me. I mean this situation; I mean I know I’m young. But I…this is what I want. I’m happy. And now, well at least now I know what to expect. With Harry well…” he trailed off. Judging by the tiny smiles on their faces, they could remember quite clearly the circumstances of Harry’s birth.

He hoped he’d guessed right. He was just basing his little speech on what he thought might have happened. Namely that Lily thought Potter was a possessive prick, which he kind of was. And that he was an idiot for getting pregnant again at such a young age. Again true. And confessing his love for James…it actually horrified him a little that he hadn’t felt any of the usual revulsion and queasiness that came with such a thought. But then, he had been under a lot of stress. Perhaps he really was starting to lose it. And Lily…he’d told her he loved her. Only now…well he wasn’t sure he meant it as he once had. What the hell was wrong with him?

“Hands off Harry”.

Harry giggled, watching his Papa act all silly. Then he looked over at the lady. She said she knew his Papa, that she’d known him for a long, long time. That they were friends. But if they were friends, why had she left his Papa? But wait, this wasn’t his real Papa. It was his not Papa. But his not Papa was in Papa’s body and he was pretty sure this lady had known his real Papa. Did that mean she knew this not Papa too? Or was she like Daddy and had no clue? Harry pouted, why did grownups have to be so confusing?

“I’m sorry Severus”. Now that she’d had time to calm down, Lily did look rather chastened. So did James for that matter.

“Yeah, I’m sorry love. I know I can be a bit of an arse at times. I just…I guess I was a little jealous. Lily knew you before any of us did. Sometimes I kind of wish I’d been the first”.

“You took all his firsts!” Despite her words, Lily didn’t look nearly as mad as she had been. If anything, she looked rather amused.

“Well yeah” James chuckled. He coaxed Severus closer, his hand resting on his swollen belly. “You’re right, I did. But then, well he took nearly all of mine. I mean, I’d had friends before Hogwarts of course. But for all the firsts that really mattered, well Sev was always there to share them with me”. James gave a rather soppy grin at that, leaning in for another kiss.

Severus couldn’t have felt worse if he’d tried. Putting aside the whole, he’d never before been attracted to Potter or men in general, he was having some kind of crisis. He was, for all intents and purposes, a homewrecker. He was scum, the lowest of scum in fact. He’d take over this other him’s life, robbed him of his chance to bask in his husband’s love and kept him from his own children. And he still had no idea why. It wasn’t like he could talk to anyone about it. They’d think he was mad!

“You okay?” Severus blinked, had he zoned out? “Sev? What’s wrong?” Severus turned to James, ignoring the way his stomach clenched. It was indigestion, that was it, it had to be. It wasn’t love or whatever sappy shit people called it. It was indigestion, plain and simple.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just, lost in that I guess. Just thinking about Harry”. Harry was usually a safe excuse for whenever he found himself lost in thought. Parents were supposed to think about their kids a lot, weren’t they? Well his didn’t, but then his weren’t exactly good parents.

“I think I’d better get going. I know my visit probably came as a bit of a shock and I’m sure you’re tired Severus. But, if you’re free sometime, perhaps we can meet up again?” Lily suggested.

“I’d like that” Severus smiled.

“Then it’s settled. I’ll see myself out”. Lily stood up. “Can I, I mean is it okay if I-?” Lily looked unsure.

“Here love, let me”. James helped him up. If he was already like this at this stage, what would he be like at nine months?

“Thanks”. Severus winced a little, it looked like he’d need another massage. “I’ll write to you” he promised.

Lily gave him a tearful smile. Without warning she wrapped her arms around him. “I know I shouldn’t worry so much. But what he’s done to you, you had all these hopes and dreams. And now you’re pregnant again. I just, are you really happy like this. I mean I know he loves you, anyone with eyes can see that. But you’ve never been with anyone else. Don’t you ever wonder?” Lily whispered to him.

If only she knew. Of course he’d been with others besides James. He wasn’t quite that pathetic. But then again, he’d never really had a proper relationship. Just one night stands when the frustration became too much. Plus, well his work had made it a nightmare trying to get close to anyone. Not that he ever really tried.

“I am happy Lily. James offered to fund my mastery. Once the baby’s born, I can start on the practical stuff. For now, I’ve been working through the theory; doing the research, writing the essays and so on. I send off my work to get marked and they send it back with their feedback. They, they like what I’ve done. They say I’m talented”. Severus whispered back. And yes, it was quite a long embrace.

The day James had offered such a thing, well Severus hadn’t been in the best of moods. Harry was clinging more than usual, his back had been hurting, he was pretty sure he had indigestion and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get comfortable. So there he was, lying down with his back propped up. His belly grotesquely swollen (in his eyes) and a needy toddler demanding his attention. But it wasn’t until he realised he wasn’t wearing anything on his feet that true panic had set in. He was barefoot and pregnant, quite literally.  He’d once been a talented and (grudgingly) respected potions professor and now he’d become nothing more than a stereotype. Hell he’d even been waiting for James to come home, with dinner already on the table. Although in his defence, Mimzy had been the one to cook. So naturally he freaked out, just a little.

Severus had been horrified to realise the position he’d put himself in. He was a teenage parent whose only qualifications had been his OWLS and NEWTS. He’d barely done a thing since school, except raise a child, get pregnant again and wait for the cycle to continue. Oh sure, the old him had had plenty of books and such to read. But reading alone hadn’t been enough to make him feel any better. And then James surprised him, which at this point he really should have come to expect. He’d listened to his concerns, kissed him thoroughly (to which he’d accepted without complaint) and then laughed at him. But before he could unleash his fury, James had offered to pay for his mastery.

“You always said you wanted to do it. And I did knock you up, twice even. Seems only fair I can do this for you. You’ve already given me so much”. This time when James kissed him, Severus had responded. But it was only because he’d been caught in the moment. That was absolutely the only reason!

“You are talented!” Lily whispered back. “You always were! You’re gonna do great Sev!”

James coughed. While clearly an attempt to get them to separate, it got them to do just that. “So…have a good trip”. James held his hand out, well at least he was trying.

“Thank you” Lily responded, taking his hand and giving it a single shake. “I will. Oh, I almost forgot. Have you got a pen? Oh, I mean a quill? I need to give you my address”.

James and Severus looked at each other, before Mimzy appeared without warning. “A quill and parchment miss, as requested”. Just as suddenly as he’d appeared, she disappeared once more. Not before sneaking a square of chocolate into Harry’s hands.

As Harry hummed and smiled, his face rather suspiciously dirtier than it had been, Lily scrawled out her address. She handed both items back, kissed Severus and Harry on the cheeks and nodded to James. “Thank you for having me. It’s been…I really did miss you Severus”.

With a final smile, Lily departed out the front door. Seconds later a loud crack could be heard, indicating she’d apparated to parts unknown.

“Harry who gave you chocolate?” Severus heard James ask, he sounded quite perplexed. With a sigh, he shut the door. It seemed once again Harry had gotten himself into trouble. Some things never changed.

-

Severus had never given the holidays much thought. With Christmas being the only exception, because let’s face it, everyone celebrated it to some extent. And of course Halloween, not that he’d ever been able to take part in it before. But for things like Easter and Valentine’s day, Severus hadn’t ever really cared. It was just easier that way. Who cared if all he’d seen other children gorging themselves on chocolate eggs? Who cared if he’d seen girls swooning and boys bragging about how many cards they’d gotten? He didn’t care, not one bit. At least, that’s what he used to tell himself.

Obviously things were now quite different. Well maybe not about Easter, did wizards even celebrate it? He made a mental note to ask later. But for Valentine’s day? Things were definitely different. James had made sure of that.

It started, as all great holidays do, with chocolate and presents. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, therefore the way to a boy’s heart is with sweets. Lots and lots of sweets. Well actually this is probably true of any child.

Now normally, Severus would wake up, get a shower and get dressed. Sometimes Remus would be there with him, sometimes not. Whichever it was, they always met up in the common room before going down to breakfast. Most days the other boys joined them. There were two others in their dorm room and three more in the room across the hall. To his own surprise, they all seemed to quite like him. But then, they were all rather studious and loved finding things out as much as he did. So it wasn’t really all that surprising that they got along.

It had been impossible not to know that it was Valentine’s day. For one thing, it had been all anyone could seem to talk about for weeks. And honestly, Severus had gotten James’ present just after christmas. Of course, the red and pink streamers, ribbons and god only knows what else, hanging from every ceiling and dangling from every picture and chair, was a rather big clue as well. Like I said, only an idiot would have been surprised.

James was no idiot. He’d been planning a special Valentine’s day for what felt like forever. He had his gift all wrapped and ready to go, his card signed and his heart shaped box of chocolates tucked away inside his trunk. Sweet? Yes. Original? Hardly. All he had left to do was find his Sev, give him said presents and bask in his boyfriend’s adoration. Alright so maybe he was a bit of an idiot.

“Sev!” James cried, grinning as he threw his arms around his boyfriend.

Said boyfriend didn’t react the way he should have; with a large, blinding smile, adoring eyes and that cute little blush he tended to get whenever James complimented him. But then, this wasn’t a harlequin novel, nor was it a Disney movie. It was a magic school where dragons were real, men could have babies and a giant squid lived in the lake. Because of course that’s where giant squid liked to hang out; nothing said home sweet home like an oversized pond in the middle of Scotland. Instead, Severus smiled, both embarrassed and pleased as James wrapped his arms around him. And if the other boys (minus Remus) made kissy faces and fake vomited around them, well he knew Remus would tell him who’d done what. Mark his words, he would have his revenge.

“I got you a present for Valentine’s day. So meet me after breakfast, I want to give it to you before class” James smiled.

“Sure. I uh, I got something for you too”. Severus smiled, albeit a little uncertainly. The gift he’d gotten James, well he hadn’t exactly gotten it. Instead he’d made it, because well, he didn’t have the money to just buy him something. But people always said it was the thought that counted, right?

“You did? Brilliant! Then we can exchange gifts at the same time. That’s smart thinking, but then you’re always smart”. James blushed a little, it seemed even the great James Potter could get a little shy.

“Hey lovebirds! You can fool around later, it’s time to eat”.

The same boy that had shown them around that first day, grinned at them. At his side stood a blond haired boy, about his own age and sporting the same red and gold tie that James wore. It was then Severus noticed that their hands were clasped tightly, their cheeks a little flushed and he could have sworn their lips were redder than they should have been. Just like when he and James…oh. Oh. He blushed again at that realisation.

“See you later, yeah?” James asked, practically bouncing on the spot.

“Yeah” he replied. A quick kiss later and they separated, going off to meet their friends and finally eat.

“Oh that is so sweet! I mean it’s so unfair, when we were first years the boys were all stupid and gross. But that boy, oh he’s so handsome! And the two of them together?” An older Ravenclaw girl squealed, a big smile on her face as she and her friends watched him. Her friends were quick to add their own agreements.

“Oh I know; the boys back then were so gross!”

“I’m so jealous, I wish a boy would look at me like that”.

“They are such a cute couple! Oh can you imagine if they actually stayed together all though to graduation? Oh my gosh that would be like a real life fairy tale”.

Severus ignored them all. He had to if he didn’t want to die of embarrassment.

“You know, you two make me sick”. A rather bossy blond haired boy declared. “I mean, you’re all lovey dovey and stuff, it’s just gross!”

“It’s not gross!” Severus scowled back. “Maybe if it was with a girl it would be, but James is my boyfriend. It isn’t gross if you’re dating a boy. It’s common sense. We don’t talk about girly stuff; we talk about stuff that matters”.

While what he said was probably very offensive to girls everywhere, the other boys looked at him in awe. What he’d said, it actually made sense. So what if he was dating someone? James was a boy just like them. He liked quidditch and pulling pranks and had even come to like reading books with Severus. Only the ones that depicted bloody and violent deaths throughout history, but hey, it was a start.  

“Enough talk, let’s eat!” Remus spoke up, already leaning over to grab the bacon. And just like that, the conversation died. Apparently nothing more needed to be said.

The rest of the meal passed by without incident. The blond boy from earlier had scowled and pouted, at least until Severus took the liberty of giving him the last of the bacon. Then it was like nothing had happened between them. Never underestimate the power of bacon.

Finally, with their bellies full, Severus and Remus got up. At that moment, James and Sirius stood up as well and like a well-choreographed routine, they exited the doors at the exact same time. As he was leaving, Severus looked around for Lily, giving her a little wave as soon as he spotted her. He knew her and James didn’t get along as much as he’d like them to, but he wasn’t going to force it. He was already lucky enough, he didn’t want to risk ruining it all.

“Come with me” James demanded. He grabbed his hand leading him to a hidden alcove a little way away from the doors of the Great Hall. Severus glanced back at Remus who seemed quite happy chatting with Sirius. Shrugging, he let James do what he wanted.

Once James was sure they were hidden from sight, he thrust forward his presents, having gotten them out of his bag. “Happy Valentine’s Day Sev!” James grinned. He grinned even wider as Severus blushed under the attention.

“Happy Valentine’s day James”. Severus smiled back, handing over his own present and waiting nervously for James to open it. “You open yours first. Please?” James needed no encouraging. He ripped open the packaging, grinning widely. Only, when he saw what it was, his grin dropped. Severus was sure his heart did the same. “You-” he began.

“You made this?” James interrupted, turning the object over to look at it every way he could. Sev this is, this is just…wow! You’re like the best boyfriend ever!” That said, James surged forward and kissed him, leaving them both rather breathless. Thankfully they refrained from dropping their gifts.

“You like it?” Severus asked uncertainly. “I had some help, one of our prefects helped me with the difficult stuff”.

“I love it! Did you even have to ask?”

James traced the edges of the frame with his fingertips. Inside a collection of what seemed like hundreds of photos, had been painstakingly put together. All of them depicting the two as a couple. Some had them kissing, most had them smiling and one very special one had that simply staring at each other with what could only be described as pure love. That, James decided pretty quickly, was his favourite. And best of all, he found a secret panel on the back. Inside was an empty space. Confused, he looked up at Severus, about to ask why.

“It has a secrecy charm on it. You can put something special in there and no one but you will ever be able to find it” Severus explained. James kissed him once again.

“Open yours now” James insisted. Severus nodded, grinning.

First he opened the chocolates. Severus had been pretty sure he’d already known what they were, but he hadn’t thought James would buy him the most expensive chocolates they had. Not to mention the tastiest. But then, this was James and James always did like to spoil him. The next present, wasn’t so much a present as it was a card, but it was lovely all the same. It even had a picture of a dragon on the front which was just awesome. No hearts or girly stuff for them. Finally, the time came to open the last present. This was the one that had James acting nervous. Not ready to torture them both by opening it slowly, Severus ripped off the wrapping, much like James had done. And just as James had done, he stood motionless as he gazed at what he had in his hands.

“I got it from our family vaults. I know it’s kind of old, but mum told me what it was about. And I just knew it’d be perfect for you. Do you like-”. James’ next words were muffled as Severus surged forward, wrapping his arm around his neck and kissing him quite thoroughly.

“I love it”. Severus answered rather shakily. Both breathless and embarrassed at his own enthusiasm.

James chuckled, quite breathless himself. “Good, that’s…very good”.

Severus smiled, feeling a little embarrassed as he turned his attentions to his present. It was old certainly, old and very valuable, Severus was sure. But it showed just how much James had been paying attention to him. He was sure he’d only mentioned wanting to read the book once. But it was so rare, of course the library didn’t have a copy, so Severus knew he’d have to let it be. It hadn’t stopped him wanting to read it though. The things it could tell him, the ideas it could give him, well the opportunities were limitless. But he was smart enough to know that pining would only make it worse. So he’d done his best to forget about it. He was sure he could study potions without it. Other people had done, lots of them in fact. Why should he be anything special?

“Oh, we’d better get going”. James frowned as he heard the other students beginning to leave the hall. “Listen, will you meet me for lunch? By the lake, you know the spot we like. I know it’s kind of silly, but I kind of thought we could just have a little picnic together. Just you and me”.

It was silly. It was sappy and girly and the exact same thing no doubt countless other boyfriends would be doing, despite the cool weather. But, as embarrassing as it was to admit, it really was a nice thought. Just him and James, huddled together, watching the lake and eating delicious foods. And maybe…doing stuff. The thought had Severus blushing again. What sort of stuff? He didn’t know. Kissing probably, he quite liked doing that. And holding hands and hugging, that’s what people did on dates, didn’t they?

“Yeah. And uh, thanks for my presents. They were, they were really nice”. Severus smiled, too embarrassed to say anything more.

“You’re welcome. Thank you for mine as well. I really do love it, almost as much as I love you”. James smiled at him, the kind of smile that left Severus feeling all warm and tingly.

“Love you too” he replied. It might have been embarrassing, but it was the truth.

They shared one last kiss, giggling as James’ glasses accidently became skewed. With one last shared smile, they departed hand in hand, looking just as every other couple around them did. Completely and utterly blissed.  


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had meant to update this sooner, but things kept cropping up and I still had another fic to update. But thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! 
> 
> This chapter does contain possible non-con and quite a lot of manipulation, so just be aware of that. Nothing graphic though. Also both Snape’s finally meet, although there are still many questions left to be answered. 
> 
> I promise the next chapter will be longer and I’ll do my best to update sooner next time. Enjoy!

He had been fast asleep, well as best he could in the state he was in, when something woke him up. He never had been a great sleeper, insomnia and paranoia had always made it a difficult task for him. Still, this time he somehow knew this wasn’t what woke him this time. This was confirmed when, with his eyes crusty and vision blurry, he noticed something quite surprising. And considering the shit he’d put up with since his death, that was saying something.

There he was, just stood there at the foot of the bed, watching them sleep. This was creepy enough, the idea of a stranger looming over their bed was enough to give anyone nightmares. But Severus took it in stride, he’d been in such situations before. Of course they never ended well and in his current state, well he didn’t like his chances much. Still, he was determined to put up a good fight. At least he was until he really saw him.

Severus Snape stared down at him, with his sallow skin and greasy hair. But then he did something he couldn’t remember doing in that body for many years, he smiled. Not a smile of cruelty of mocking, but a real genuine smile that made him look years younger. It was…disturbing.

“You’re finally awake. I was waiting for you”.

“Who…what-?” He stammered, struggling to get his thoughts in order.

“I’m you. The you before you died. How was that by the way? Did it hurt?” The older him cocked his head, watching him curiously.

“Terribly”. It was the only answer he could think to give. Yet as he saw the man flinch and his smile dim, he almost wished he could take back his words.

“I thought so. How…how is my son? And the baby, how are they?” He looked so nervous asking, it was strange to see such an expression on his own face. Truly bizarre.

“They’re well. Harry he, he knows I’m not his real Papa. He keeps asking for you. And the baby keeps moving. Even now I can feel it. I think it recognises your voice”.

The look he received, one filled with both awe and heartbreak was unlike anything he’d ever encountered. But it summed up their situation quite beautifully. This man, or rather this boy, had returned to his family. He was forced to watch his son grow without him, to watch his unborn child incubate in what should have been his own body and his husband…well that was strange. He’d yet to even glance at James. But why?

“Thank you. They showed me what happened to you, you know. In my dreams. What they did to you, what you went through, I just…I can’t imagine”. His older self paused, clearly fighting back tears. If he wasn’t already disturbed enough, the sight of himself close to weeping like some teenage girl, might have pushed him over the edge.

“Who are they?”

“They? They’re just…I’m not entirely sure. I started dreaming of you not too long ago. They showed me what you’d been through, with the war and everything else. After a while they came to me. I don’t remember what they looked like, but somehow they felt safe. They said they had a request, to give someone great the life they deserved. I hadn’t planned on agreeing at first, I mean I had Harry to look after. But then they told me more about you. Did you know there are worlds parallel to our own? I’m sure there are other versions of us, out there somewhere”.

Severus frowned at that. Did that mean there were other worlds where he’d done worse than Potter? Well considering in one world he’d died, hated by many and in the other he was a pregnant teenager married to his enemy, he didn’t very much like his odds.

“When they told me what you did, what you gave up in order to save everyone, things just changed. I didn’t want to leave Harry, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me. And James…well I know he loves me very much. But the things they showed me...everyone deserves to be loved the way I was. I know I’m lucky. I know it might not seem like it to you, but I really am. I had everything I wanted while you had nothing. I had a family that loved me and friends that valued me. But you…how could you let yourself end up like that?”

Was he serious? This was coming from the teenager that had willingly slept with Potter, gotten pregnant twice while still in his teens and had apparently done nothing more than play house since graduating. And he had the nerve to say his choices were bad? Which, yeah okay his weren’t the best. The whole joining the death eaters, becoming the puppet of not one but two certified lunatics and spending most of his life as being despised by everyone who knew him. But still, he’d gotten his mastery in potions, become a professor and head of house and hell he’d become the youngest potions master in a century! Did he even realise how difficult that had been? Did he even care?

“You-”. Dear god, he really was crying. Was that what he looked like when he cried? He really was an ugly bugger wasn’t he. “You lost everything. You gave everything you had and they just _used_ you. And you let them. You let them, because of something stupid you did when you were my age. What the hell is wrong with you?” The other him swiped angrily at his cheeks, hastily scrubbing away the tears. “You didn’t deserve that. No one deserves that!”

He was wrong, oh how wrong he was. But then, he was still a child. Perhaps legally an adult, but like so many his age, still prone to childish outbursts. Real life had no place for happy endings. This boy, trapped in his own aging body, had lived a life entirely different to his own. That much was clear. He had people who loved him, friends to support him and would hopefully never experience the brutality of the war in the way he had.

“Why am I here?” Severus finally asked, giving the other a chance to calm down. “In this body, in your body, why am I here?” he repeated.

“It was the only way you could experience a life like mine. When you died in your world, well that was it. It was too late to bring you back with your body intact. But your mind, your spirit, they told me we’ve always been strong in that regard. We’re the same you and me, at least on the inside”.

He had a bloody baby in his belly that begged to differ.

“I knew what I was giving up, to let you have this kind of a life. I don’t regret it, I thought I might but I don’t. But Harry, well I wish I could spend more time with him”.

Once again he’d failed to mention James. He’d been mildly suspicious before, but now Severus was curious. “What of your husband? You’ve barely mentioned him”. The way the other froze, before biting his lip and averting his gaze, spoke volumes. Even if he did look rather ridiculous, a grown man wasn’t supposed to act in such a way. It just wasn’t done.

“James is…I know James loves me. He’s always loved me, ever since that first day on the train. But I-” he fell silent.

“Go on”. It wasn’t like him to be so encouraging. But part of him needed to hear this, to know if his younger self really had lost his mind, or if perhaps he wasn’t as big a fool as he’d once thought.

“He was my first in just about everything. Looking back on it now, it’s like I was blind to everything around me. He was always there, even when we were in different houses. He was just so intense and the way he looked at me, no one had ever looked at me like that. Everyone kept telling us we were perfect for each other. For the longest time I even believed it. But then, in our last year, something just seemed to change. Whenever I talked about my plans for the future, about going away to study and things like that, he always used to give me these looks. Like he didn’t approve. He never said anything, he encouraged me even, but I could tell he wasn’t happy whenever I talked about leaving. So I stopped. I mean we were in love, you were supposed to stay together with the one you loved, right? That’s what everyone said. And he was so happy when I did. Always smiling and telling me he loved me. I believed him”.

Severus was sickened. This wasn’t love, this was obsession. It was about control, not affection. It was almost frightening to think he’d once been in a similar situation. All alone with everyone pushing him towards a certain path. Sure the outcomes differed dramatically, but they’d both been manipulated by those they thought they could trust.

“Then when we were in seventh year, I found out I was pregnant. I mean I knew it was possible, ever since first year. But once we started having sex, I was always so careful. I wasn’t ready for a child, I still had so much I wanted to do. But James, well I knew he always wanted a big family. He’d always said so. He always said after school we’d get married first. Then once we had our own place and we were all settled in, we’d start having kids. It’s what everyone did, it’s what everyone expected us to do. And after a while, I came to want it too. But James, I don’t know what happened but I just know it was his doing”.

Severus waited for him to continue. As difficult as it was to remain quiet, to not blast the man who lay sleeping beside him, he knew he needed answers first.

“It happened at Christmas. James had taken me with him for the holidays, we always spent them together. So on Christmas Eve when his parents were out of the house, he nicked a bottle of gin from his dad’s study. I didn’t normally drink much, not spirits anyway, so it didn’t take long for it to take effect. So when we started messing around, I just assumed he’d cast the spells like he always did. Which he did, I mean I could feel them. Only, I don’t know if it was the gin or the way he kissed me, but I couldn’t remember him casting the contraceptive spell. I must have asked him at some point and he said he had, just like always. So I believed him. But then a few weeks later, well you can probably guess what happened”.

It took a great deal of effort not to castrate the man still asleep beside him. Though he half wondered if he was under some sort of spell. It wasn’t like they were being particularly quiet.

“A few months later I overheard him talking with Sirius. Up until that point I really had believed it was an accident. I’d never have thought he’d done it intentionally. They were talking about him becoming a father, how he felt and things like that. Sirius was being a bit of a prat as usual, going on about the things he’d be missing out on. Then James just turned to him, with this strange smile on his face. He said he already had everything he could want, with the queerest look in his eye. And when asked if we were planning on having more, the way James looked, it was as though the cat had got the canary. ‘As many as possible’, that’s what he told him. As though it were completely normal. I’m sure Sirius thought he meant it in jest and soon enough they moved onto other things. But I knew he’d been serious. He’d always said he’d wanted a big family. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised what must have happened. He’d lied to me. He hadn’t cast the spell. He’d been manipulating me from the start, just so he could have what he wanted. And I’d given it to him, I’d given everything to him”. He fell silent, breathing heavily as he so obviously struggled to control himself.

“You didn’t leave?” Severus asked, yet in the back of his mind he both knew and feared his answer.

“No. Where would I go? Mum was dead, my father wasn’t an option. James told anyone who’d listen how much he loved me. How much he loved that we were having a baby together. Even if I tried, I don’t think anyone would let me leave him. Everyone always said we were perfect together. I suppose that’s why they would look the other way, when something happened to dispel that notion. With the war and all, they didn’t want to lose the fantasy James had created for us. And after a while, I just got tired of fighting it. Plus, and I know what you must think of me right now, but James really does love me. He always had. Sometimes people do stupid things for the people they love. Don’t they?”

For a grown man to make that face at him, full of yearning and innocence, it really was quite disturbing, Severus decided. And that whole thing about doing stupid things for the ones they love? Well it wasn’t like he could say much, hadn’t he done the exact same thing? His love for Lily, hadn’t that been what had started this whole mess? Well that and his own stupidity of course. Huh, maybe there was some truth to that after all.

“How long will this last?” Wisely, Severus changed the subject.

The other him averted his gaze once more. A tell-tale sign that he wasn’t about to like what he had to say. “I’m not sure. It was supposed to be a chance for you to live a life you deserved to have. But they never said how long it would last. And I don’t know what will happen afterwards. If we switch back, you’ll surely die. If they give me a choice to regain my old life, how can I agree knowing what will happen to you? I would be killing a man; even worse I would be killing my future self. All so I could return to living a life, that I now know was little more than a fantasy”.

Distantly, Severus wondered why of all people, his life had to be so ridiculously complicated. Surely he’d paid his dues, hell he’d even died for them! And had that been the end of it? No! He’d been forced to go through this ridiculous farce. Here he was having a conversation with his younger self, who was trapped in his original body why he himself occupied his younger self’s body. His very much pregnant body at that.

The man snoring next to him was both his enemy and his husband. The same husband who’d not only saved him from a werewolf thereby incurring a life debt, but who’d manipulated his younger self into getting pregnant before graduating. And the child sleeping sound asleep in the other room, was once the saviour of the wizarding world. At least he had been in his own reality. In this world however, he was the product of too much to drink during the holidays. Which in all honesty, was probably how many of his future classmates had come to be. Still, as much as it shamed him to admit it, he was reluctant to leave either of them.

What James had done was manipulative, devious and in all honesty, exactly the type of thing any Slytherin would hope to achieve. As horrified and disgusted as he was with what he’d learned, Severus could begrudgingly admit he was also a little impressed. And Harry, well despite his history with the Boy Who Lived, this Harry was just a curious and lovable little boy who had clung to him the moment they’d met. While he’d never particularly liked children, he had become somewhat fond of the toddler that had seen through his ruse. He’d done what full grown wizards had failed to do, he’d done what his own husband had failed to do. It seemed he really had inherited his Papa’s intelligence. Severus was impressed, but then James had never struck him as being particularly bright.

“So what happens now?”

All this time he’d been searching for answers. Now that he had them, well he almost wished he’d remained ignorant. His younger self claimed not to know when the time would come, for things to revert back to their original state. So what was he supposed to do until then? And what would happen to him afterwards? Would he die once more? Wasn’t that what he wanted? At one point he’d have said yes, but now, things had changed. He wasn’t really sure what he wanted. Neither of them were.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn’t manage to update this sooner, but it is longer. I’m gonna aim to update within the next two months, things have just been much more hectic lately. But hopefully things will be calming down soon.
> 
> Warning: There is a reference to voyeurism, although no one actually sees anything explicit. There’s also talk of mpreg and quite a bit of innuendo. 
> 
> Please review! And thanks to everyone who has reviewed and supported me so far. I’m also planning to update Breaking the Mold in the near future, so look forward to that!
> 
> KB

“There’s something I don’t understand. I’m in your body, as we’ve already established. But how can you be in mine? Before this, whatever this is, you were healthy, young and more importantly, you were alive. I wasn’t any of those things. When I died, my body was nothing like I see before me. How can that be? How can you occupy a dead man’s body?” Severus frowned, scowling as a particularly hard kick had him wincing.

“It’s because I’m not. This…well I suppose the best way to describe it is that this body is kind of an illusion. A projection of sorts. You’re right. Your body was…too damaged for me to inhabit. I knew this before I agreed to any of it”. His other self faltered slightly at the mention of his body, Severus wasn’t too surprised. It didn’t take much to imagine what a sight it must have made. Especially for one unused to the horrors of war. “As for how it works, I’m afraid I can’t really remember. I suppose it must be a spell or curse that allows me to remain in this state. I’ve just been calling it purgatory; you know that state between heaven and hell that the muggles keep going on about? They say it’s like a waiting room. That certainly sounds about right. Where all I can do is wait and wait and watch you live my life” he sighed.

The silence that followed was uncomfortable. Neither of them knew quite what to say.

“They thought it might make more sense if I appeared to you like this. To make it seem as though we’d simply swapped bodies, so that it’d be easier for you to process it” he explained. Though Severus hadn’t intended to ask. Truthfully, his explanation only brought about more questions. “Clearly they didn’t think it through”.

Severus barely managed to supress a snort, casting a wary eye over at his sleeping husband. “How can you stand it? Seeing me take your place like this? I’m replacing you, I’m living your life for you. Most people wouldn’t nearly be so calm about it”.

His younger self smiled, he really was an ugly bugger when he smiled. At least when that smile came from his older body. “To be honest you’re doing me a favour, just like I’m doing for you. This thing with James, I can’t leave him. He’s a prick and he used me and I know I should hate him for what he’s done…but I can’t. He…he gave me my children. He manipulated me, he lied to me and I know all that. But he was the first person to tell me he loved me, he was the first person who really meant it. I want to forget that, but I can’t. It’s just all so fucking complicated, but if I leave, if I leave I’ll lose everything. And where the hell will I end up then? Right now I just, I need time away from him. Sometimes it’s just too hard to pretend everything’s alright”.

Severus shifted uncomfortably. It was obvious his other self was upset, he could have sworn he saw the familiar shine of tears. But he made no move to provide comfort. He doubted he could even move enough to do so. Even if he could, what could he say? His younger self was an idiot, both in this timeline and his own. No change there. And once again Potter had found a way to ruin the life of Severus Snape. Only, in this instance, Potter had lived to brag about it, albeit not in the way Severus first expected. No, in this timeline, as with his own, it seemed Potter had won. He had the job, the house, the money and the picture perfect family that had their classmates seething with jealously. Only this time, Severus was right there beside him.

He was Potter’s bitch.

It was a fleeting thought, but one that had him choking to quite an alarming level. As he coughed and spluttered, eyes wide in panic and horror, he didn’t even register the snoring lump beside him jolting into consciousness. By the time he’d regained his ability to breathe somewhat normally, he registered the hand on his back, another on his belly and the familiar warmth that still both horrified and intrigued him, spreading across his back. Gasping shakily, he felt the hands move, a soft murmuring filling his ears as his husband held him close. It was…sweet. Sickeningly so. Yet despite his disgust towards the man who held him close, crooned in his ear and made sure he was comfortable, Severus felt himself begin to relax. Truly relax. In a way he hadn’t since before he started Hogwarts. It was a horrifying thought, one he clamped down upon the second it popped into his head, but it was too late. Despite knowing what Potter had done, both in this world and his own, Severus was forced to admit to himself that he was in love. It sickened him.

He didn’t love Potter, he couldn’t. He just…couldn’t. But the feeling of safety, living in a nice home with enough resources to live a very comfortable life, it was exactly what he’d been dreaming for all these years. He’d never expected to marry or have children. He’d scoffed at the very idea more than once. Yet here he had all that, all that and more. Here he had Harry’s love. He had friends who cared about him, people who respected him and Potter…well Potter said he loved him. But then Potter still hadn’t worked out his husband wasn’t really his husband, so Severus wasn’t putting too much stock into anything he said.

Severus didn’t love Potter, or at the very least he wasn’t ready to admit to it, but he did love everything else. Living the kind of life he had, where things like safety and acceptance were seen as indulgences and love was the kind of luxury he could never hope to gain, well it had pretty much screwed him up. Severus was used to pain and fighting for absolutely everything in life. Respect had to be earned, something he’d managed only briefly and by fighting tooth and nail to get it. So to come into a place where all he’d had to do was smile, lay back and spread his legs for Potter of all people, in order to have people love and respect him, it was confusing. It was all too easy; he couldn’t shake the feeling that everything would soon be pulled out from under him. Sex had never been about love with him, it had merely been a way to release frustration. But here, it had been just the thing to ensure he led this perfect little life, serving as Potter’s pretty little husband. What would have ruined many a foolish teenager’s life, had instead given Severus a life too perfect for him to handle.

For a fleeting moment, Severus considered the impact of such a thing happening back in his world. It didn’t take much to picture it. He and Potter were going at it, with Black in detention and Lupin and Pettigrew who knows where. Hate turns into rage, rage turns into cockiness and finally, the next thing he knows, Potter has him shoved into a broom cupboard, their lips smashed together and their hands frantically working at getting rid of their trousers. He didn’t have to guess what Potter might say, the way he might smirk and sneer. Nor did he have to guess at how rough it would be, the burning pain easing into something like muted pleasure. And after they finished, Potter would probably sneer at him once more, threatening him to never say a word before leaving him alone to regret his every life choice. And by the time he discovered the awful truth, that what they’d done in a fit of madness had resulted in something so sacred he had no choice but to keep it, Severus would cry. Because back in his world, a knocked up teenager wasn’t a cause for celebration, especially not a male, with no money, social standing or family to support him. And Potter, well like hell would he ever willingly tell him the truth. No, that kind of thing would be saved for the moment he felt the first signs of labour. When he would be so certain of his death, that he would sign Potter’s name as the child’s father. As for what would come of that, well with any luck Severus wouldn’t be alive to see it.

“How are you feeling?” His husband asked, caressing his belly in a manner that Severus found both reassuring and profoundly creepy.

“Better” Severus replied. His voice still a little raspy.

While James fretted, bringing extra pillows and blankets to better support him, Severus dared to look around. His other self was gone, he’d figured as much, leaving behind even more questions. Wasn’t that always the case?

“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want some water?” Severus shook his head. “What the hell was that? Fuck, if I hadn’t woken up when I did, I could have lost you! You both would have-”.

Potter was crying. It was…surreal. So surreal that Severus found himself reaching out to the other man, even as his own hands trembled from the strain he’d foolishly put himself through. If things weren’t already strange enough, Severus felt himself turning towards his husband. As though he were in a trance, he could feel himself leaning forward, reaching out and pulling the other man into a kiss. It had to be a trance, it had to be someone else controlling him, his other self perhaps, because there was just no way he was kissing Potter willingly. There was no way he’d ever instigate a kiss with Potter. Accepting a kiss in order to keep everyone’s suspicions at bay, that was understandable, rational even. But instigating a kiss, its implications sent shivers down his spine. Only, he wasn’t entire sure what those shivers meant. He would have thought horror, yet the more he thought about it, the more it just didn’t seem to fit.

Severus was a curious man by nature. But this, this felt like one of those times he ought to just leave things as they were. Anyone with common sense would surely do the same. Sadly, Severus was quite lacking in common sense these days. Probably because nothing made sense in the first place. So it really was quite difficult to find any commonalities within it.

-

Being popular, Severus soon came to realise, was pretty damn fantastic. To have people smiling at him, not scowling, to have teachers praising him, not scolding, it was more than he’d ever had before. And then there was James, the reason for his popularity. Star quidditch player, cunning prankster, voted second hottest guy in their year and most importantly, his loving and very devoted boyfriend. Though it had to be worth noting, had they not been together, James just might have had Sirius beat out for the top spot. Availability was apparently a key factor when judging someone’s attractiveness and Sirius, well he’d practically made a career of it.

There was something to be said, for all those people who said these were the best years of his life. While Severus had always loved learning, he’d never been quite so fond of the whole socialising aspect that came with school. At least, before he came to Hogwarts. At Hogwarts he was part of the ‘it crowd’. Having never been part of it before, it had taken him a long time to get used to it. To get used to the jealous looks people would send his way, to get used to the people actually wanting to get his attention. But once he had, he couldn’t help but enjoy it.

At the very start, Severus had vowed not to become his worst nightmare. He’d had his own experiences with rich assholes, thinking they could buy their way through life and shit all over his dreams. But when he was there, living among the type of people he claimed to hate, things just seemed to change. Sure some of the lads were absolute dicks, those Slytherins in particular. Though in all fairness, it wasn’t like James and Sirius were entirely innocent in that regard. They did have a rather impressive ability to infuriate anyone dressed in green. But for the most part, at least for those in Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, the purebloods weren’t as bad as he’d feared they would be. His fellow Ravenclaws valued his knowledge, allowing him to quickly become popular in his own right. While the fact he was dating one of their year’s most desired certainly helped his own reputation, the fact that he had his own skills, that surpassed even some of the fifth years, was what won people over.

There were times Severus found himself wondering what if. What if he hadn’t been sorted into Ravenclaw? What if he hadn’t first met James on the train? How would his life have turned out? Would James still have found him? Would he still have people looking out for him? He had so many questions that he’d never get an answer to. It drove him crazy sometimes just thinking about it. But then James would come find him and like always, he’d be too distracted by a wandering hand or gentle kiss to even remember what he’d been thinking.

James was ready for more; Severus was well aware. But he wasn’t so sure. Even now, there were these moments of insecurity where he found himself fearing James would leave him. It frightened him sometimes about how much he relied on James. But he’d always been quick to allay any fears. And besides, everyone couldn’t stop gushing about what a perfect couple they made. If things were ever to get better between them, Severus wasn’t even sure that was possible, then perhaps it was time to do more. He just didn’t quite know how it bring it up with James.

“What’re you thinking about?”

They were just lying in the grass, in their favourite spot by the lake. Severus, as usual, found himself draped over James, their shirts untucked and their robes being used for pillows.

At James’ question, Severus blushed. How was he supposed to answer that? He hated the way his cheeks seemed to burn, giving him away so easily. Especially when James began to chuckle; a low, rumbling sound that almost always led to trouble.

“Is it something naughty? It is, isn’t it? You’re blushing! So what were you thinking about? You wanna maybe do something?” James waggled his eyebrows, earning a snort from his boyfriend.

“Out here? Where anyone could see us?” Severs exclaimed, thoroughly scandalised.

“Well you’ve never had a problem before. So why…” James trailed off, with a queer look in his eye. This time when he chuckled, Severus couldn’t supress a shiver.

“Sev, is this you saying yes? To doing it, you know with me?” James’ eyes seemed to darken before Severus’ own eyes. The implications of which had him swallowing, even as he felt himself hardening.

Severus swallowed once more, licking his lips and groaning softly as James began teasing him. Just enough to get him all hot and bothered, but certainly not enough for any of the good stuff to happen.

“I…yes?” Severus finally answered, a little hesitatingly. For all the time he’d spent thinking about it, he’d hoped he’d have felt more confident in his decision. But the moment James smiled at him, positively beaming as he proceeded to snog the living daylights out of him, well it was as if all his worries just melted away.

“So what do we have here?”

And just like that, Severus’ worries returned tenfold. Though in all fairness, they weren’t quite the same worries. No these seemed to be much worse.

Who would have thought someone would walk in on them? Right as they were busy getting hot and heavy, right by the lake, in broad daylight where anyone could see them. Yeah, the more Severus thought about it, the more surprised he was that it hadn’t happened sooner. Thankfully though, the seventh year hadn’t seemed to have heard what they were talking about beforehand. That would have been too mortifying for words.

“Just uh, enjoying the lake” James grinned. He climbed off Severus, before grabbing his cloak and helping him put it on. Severus remained quiet, doing his best to avoid the way the seventh year wouldn’t stop staring at him.

“So you’re the one, the carrier. You’d best be careful kid, you two keep that up and you’ll be too fat to sit the end of year exams. I don’t think they’re gonna let you come back with a baby in tow. This place is a madhouse as it is. Not exactly safe to have a baby crawling around, you know? I take it they gave you a leaflet or something? Might wanna read up on contraceptive spells before it’s too late. Trust me, we had one of you back in my year. He was about your age when he ended up having to drop out. He ended up getting a private tutor, not that he had much of a chance to use what he learned. Last I heard he’s on his third kid. Of course he got hitched right before the first one popped out, to a guy who was three years above us. You know how it is. Old family, rich as fuck, he’s set for life. Still, you look like a decent kid. Not a complete dumbass at least. I’d hate to see you end up like him. You just know that when his back is turned, his so called husband is screwing whatever pretty thing comes his way. Well, have fun kiddies”.

The seventh year left, waving at a boy waiting a little further down from where they were. Apparently though, despite the advice he’d given, he didn’t seem too interested in following it himself. Not by the way he dragged the other boy off into some nearby bushes. A few moments later some very suspicious sounds followed, leaving Severus and James staring in disbelief.

“So uh, you still wanna do it? Not here I mean. I mean that guy’s just…that’s a little much, you know?”

Was James, was James actually blushing? Severus couldn’t believe it. For all his teasing, listening to a couple of seventh years apparently having sex, was really having an effect on him. Not that Severus was any different. With what they’d been talking about still fresh in his mind, not to mention the sounds from nearby, Severus couldn’t help the shiver that ran down his spine. A shiver that left behind some very pleasurable sensations. A little too much, judging by the rather noticeable bulge he tried in vain to hide. Thankfully James didn’t tease him about it, sporting his own rather pressing problem. Unlike Severus however, he didn’t seem all that interested in hiding it. Looking at Severus in a rather strange way, that had him squirming on the inside.

“Yeah. If uh, if you still want to?” Fuck, Severus could feel himself blushing again. He looked down, wrapping his arms around himself, as he waited for James to tug on his cloak.

“Definitely. But uh, we should do what he said. You know about the spells and stuff? I don’t want them to kick you out. You of all people deserve to be here”. With that said, James pressed a hesitant kiss to his lips. One Severus was all too eager to receive.

Another loud moan broke the two apart. So with flushed faces and clasped hands, the two of them hurried off. And if they both happened to be walking a little more stiffly than usual, well could you really blame them?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. 
> 
> The reason I haven’t updated in a few months is because of a family death, so I really haven’t felt motivated to write anything. I’m hoping to go back to updating every couple of months or so from now on though. But I just want to reassure everyone I’m not abandoning this. Nor am I abandoning Breaking the Mold, thought I’d let people know as I’ve had a couple of people asking about it.

In the days following his other self’s visitation, Severus had found himself ill at ease. Things weren’t helped by James’ increasing presence, as though the man knew something wasn’t right and was trying desperately to fix it. Had he not been the one subjected to such intense doting, Severus may have found some humour in it. But just as it had been back in his own world, Severus found himself under Potter’s watch. It was just as disconcerting as it had been back then.

Fortunately, for once, his days had a rather unexpected brightness to them. In the form of a sweet little boy, whose own obsession with his Papa mirrored that of his father’s. Severus knew it was madness, the boy was as bad as his father, as it had been back home. Yet surprisingly, Severus found himself struggling to feel any of the anger, despair or even jealousy that he’d previously felt for the boy, both in this world and his own. Whether it was because Harry was all his, nothing of Lily’s in sight, or because the sight of a small pale boy with dark hair and big black eyes stirred memories he’d long hoped to forget, Severus couldn’t be sure. All Severus could be sure of, was that this little boy needed his Papa. And as perplexing as it was, Severus couldn’t deny the child.

Severus knew he was spoiling the boy. Not through traditional means such as sweets and toys, but through giving him affection, more so than he had been before. Harry’s demands were really rather simple. The boy eagerly awaited every hug and kiss his parents offered him, snuggling up to whomever was within his reach. While he liked his toys and wouldn’t say no to a biscuit or two, it was his parents’ love that Harry apparently craved the most. Much like any other child.

From an outsider’s perspective, Severus knew he had no reason to complain. A doting husband and loving child, most would laugh at him if he dared do so. But Severus wasn’t an outsider, though at times he almost wished he could be. Just knowing what James was doing, had done already, Severus found it unsettling. While he knew better than anyone what kind of a man James Potter really was, he’d allowed himself to fall for the illusion that being in this world had created. A world where everything was going his way. He really should have known better.

“Papa!” Despite his best efforts, Severus couldn’t keep himself from smiling.

“Oh? What’s this? Did your uncle give you a present?” Severus eyed the chocolate smeared around the boy’s mouth with distaste. “Clearly he didn’t give you a bath” he added, moving his attention from the squirming toddler to a rather guilty looking Remus.

“Choccie!” Harry responded, looking rather indignant. “Choccie, no bath!”  

“You tell him Harry!” Sirius crowed, as he entered the room. He grabbed the toddler and began swinging him around, careful to keep him from hitting anything. Harry’s squeals and laughter filled the room.

“Careful, you’re going to make him sick” Severus responded. He frowned immediately after.

It was becoming more and more difficult to distinguish his reality and this one. The old him would have barely even tolerated Black, yet here he was conversing with the man as if nothing was amiss. Then again, here their relationship had only ever been positive, at least as far as he knew. Here, Severus had never become the slimy Slytherin that had seemed to seal his fate. As such, people treated him completely differently. It was something he was still adjusting to, no matter how much time had passed.

“Oh, don’t be a spoilsport! He’s fine, aren’t you champ?” Harry giggled in response.

Severus frowned, not just at the scene but at the unpleasant feeling that settled in his stomach. It wasn’t the baby, at least as far as he could tell. No, it was almost like he was hurt by the comment. But as quickly as the thought entered his mind, Severus shoved it back out again. Utterly ridiculous, clearly this pregnancy was taking its toll on him.

“Papa!” Harry’s bright, smiling face suddenly appeared in his vision, startling him. “Hug!” Harry declared, stretching his arms out desperately.

Again the feeling returned, even as he reached for his son. No, not his son. Severus shook his head just a little. He was getting ahead of himself again. It was an unpleasant reminder, but a necessary one. This wasn’t his son, this wasn’t his family, this wasn’t even his body. Not really. His other self had granted him the use of it, that was all. Soon, his other self would return, Harry would have his Papa again and he…well he’d be dead and buried. If he was lucky that is. Heavens knows what they did with his body.

“Just one, then I’m afraid you’re going straight in the bath” Severus replied, leaning forward to allow the boy to hug him.

Harry pouted, but soon relented. Unbeknownst to his Papa, Harry could just tell something was bothering the man. And being naughty wasn’t going to make things go back to the way they were. Something was wrong with his Papa, his not Papa rather. Yes he had Papa’s face, but he wasn’t the same Papa as he used to be. He wasn’t so smiley, though lately that had begun to change. He should know, he’d been working hard to make his Papa smile again.

A more worrying thought crossed Harry’s mind. ‘Baby?’ he wondered. Was something wrong? Was the baby sick? Harry had been sick once, it was icky. He’d been hot and tired and he hurt all over, at least until Papa had given him his magic medicine. Then he’d been right as rain. Was there such a thing as wrong rain? What made rain wrong or right? Was it naughty? Soon, Harry became distracted by the thoughts swimming through his mind.

“Here why don’t I take him? You’re looking a little tired” Sirius offered. That quickly caught Harry’s attention.

His Papa did look tired. He always looked tired nowadays, even though Harry had seen him sleep and sleep in his Daddy’s arms. Maybe that was the problem? Harry was quite a smart boy, everyone told him so. And he’d seen the way his Papa had acted with his Daddy as of late. Like something was wrong. It had started even before his not Papa had come and his real Papa had left. His real Papa had been acting so strangely, not giving Daddy the hugs and kisses he was supposed to. Even Daddy had noticed once, but he’d told Harry it was because of the new baby. That Papa was scared for some very strange reason. Harry still didn’t know what he had to be scared of. Daddy had never told him. And when his real Papa had left and his not Papa had come, things only got stranger. The kisses stopped, so did the hugs and there were times where it looked like Papa didn’t even know what was going on. Harry had even seen him giving his Daddy some very funny looks. Some of them were even scary; Harry hadn’t even known his Papa could be so scary.   

Unaware of Harry’s dilemma, Severus sighed. “I suppose that’d be best. I could really use a lie down” he admitted. Although he disliked the idea of anyone seeing him so weak, in a strange way, Severus had found himself enjoying this newfound concern for his wellbeing. It was a refreshing change from having people demand his reports, before throwing him back into the snake pit.

“You do that. And I bet we’ll have a lot of fun, won’t we champ?” Sirius tickled Harry’s belly, chuckling as the toddler giggled and squealed in response. “Right, we’ll be off then. You rest up Sev, best not give Prongs anything else to worry about. I swear he’s even worse this time around. Surprised you’ve put up with him for so long. He’d probably drive me barmy” Sirius chuckled. Nobody noticed how Severus’ smile became just a little more strained at his words.

“Do you want some help?” Remus offered quietly, after the two had left, little Harry waving rather forlornly at his Papa.

“Please” Severus replied. Much to his embarrassment, it was becoming increasingly difficult to even sit and stand without support. And while the arm of the chair was adequate in some instances, more often than not, Severus found someone at hand to help ease his struggles. Although he’d been growing used to it, there were still moments were Severus found himself surprised by it.

Even now, after months of impersonating his other self, Severus still found people’s acts of kindness quite suspicious. Though he supposed, looking at it logically, it made sense. His mind wasn’t as it once was, his experiences had shaped him in a way that he’d be unlikely to ever completely forget. Yet to everyone else, he was simply the husband of a respected pureblood, currently expecting their second addition to their beautiful little family. Naturally everyone aimed to please him. Some out of genuine concern for his health, though many appeared placated whenever they were introduced to his firstborn. Others clearly only cared to further their own social standing, though Severus rarely refused them. Watching the masses turn on each other to better their own standing had always been a guilty pleasure of his, and with his increasingly limited mobility, he’d found himself in need of new entertainment.

As for Remus, it was obvious the man genuinely cared. The two of them were supposed to be dear friends after all. Just as it was obvious the man so desperately wished for a family of his own. There were even times Severus found himself wishing he could help him. Utterly ridiculous he knew, but just watching him with Harry, and remembering the way he’d been with Teddy, Severus knew for certain the man would have made a loving father. But his condition wasn’t something that could be easily overlooked. It really was a pity.

With Remus’ help, Severus was carefully lowered, clutching his belly as the baby chose then of all times to deliver a particularly hard kick. Not for the first time, Severus found himself cursing Potter’s spawn. It seemed that just like their sire, the baby was sure to grow up to be a troublemaker.

“Did they kick?” Remus asked, smiling softly as Severus nodded, wincing one again.

“It seems that’s all they ever do nowadays” he replied. Remus’ gaze never strayed from the bump, his desire clear though his sense of propriety kept him from asking outright. “Would you like to feel it?” Severus asked, after a long moment of just watching the man.

It was strange, he’d barely tolerated Lupin in the past, yet here he’d found himself developing a strange sense of camaraderie. Perhaps because like himself, Remus seemed to prefer his reading and his quiet, to the loud, boisterous antics of his friends. Not for the first time, Severus wondered, if things had been different, would they have become friends? Not that it mattered much now. The past was the past, there was no changing it now.

“May I? Oh yes, please” Remus grinned, looking the most relaxed and happy Severus had ever seen.

Severus shifted, allowing the man to draw closer and rest a hand on the swell of his stomach. For a moment nothing happened, though Remus’ face never lost that strange sense of determination. When it finally happened, the look of elation on Remus’ face was one Severus doubted he’d ever forget. Yet for Severus, he found himself feeling a strange coldness spread rapidly down his spine. It felt like guilt, but mixed with something he couldn’t quite identify. A sense of emptiness followed, the irony of which almost made him smile, as he eyed the heavy swell of his belly.

He ought to have blamed the hormones, that’s what pregnant people did, wasn’t it? Heaven’s knows Narcissa had subjected him to his fair share in the months leading up to Draco’s birth. But he couldn’t. He knew very well what was wrong with him. It wasn’t just that he’d taken over another man’s life (albeit his alternate universe’s self), but that here before him was a young man whose life would become increasingly difficult. A young man who had to watch as the life he dreamed of was being lived by his best friend, and what’s worse he had to smile through it all. Severus could relate, well apart from the smiling. He hadn’t completely lost his mind after all.

“It’s wonderful, isn’t it?” Remus’ quiet question broke through his thoughts.

Severus chanced a look at him, his chest tightening just a little at Remus’ face. Alongside the sheer joy and wonder was a touch of darkness. Those tears gathering in his eyes, weren’t all out of happiness, but out of a sadness for the life he’d never have. Severus looked away, turning his attention to his stomach, a safer choice, he felt.

“Indeed” he answered. As another kick followed, Severus rubbed his stomach, in a vain attempt to soothe away the discomfort. Remus’ attentions soon turned to that hand, his gaze growing increasingly intense leaving Severus to feel increasingly uncomfortable.

“What’s going on here?”

In an instant, it was if a spell had been broken. Remus withdrew his hand with a flinch, whirling his head around to greet the other man. Severus relaxed, though he did his best not to make it seem noticeable. Turning his attentions to the door, he resumed rubbing his belly, noticing the same intensity Remus had given, reflected in his husband’s eyes.

“We were feeling the baby kick” Severus explained.

He watched James’ reaction carefully; the man seemed a little too tense, his words a little too sharp. Something was clearly wrong and Severus had his suspicions.

“Come feel” he offered. And there it was. The change in his husband…no his other’s self’s husband, was immediate. His smile was brighter, his eyes grew warmer and his voice became noticeably softer as he hurried to his side, pressing his hand against his belly with what could only be described as possessiveness.

“We made this. Both of us, together” James said in awe.

It was an odd choice of words, but their meaning soon became clear as Severus noticed Remus silently slipping out of the room. When James leaned forward to kiss him, Severus accepted it without complaint. Where this sudden possessiveness had come from, Severus wasn’t entirely sure. While he could understand James being jealous towards Sirius, whose looks and personality often seemed to get him whatever he wanted, he found it perplexing that quiet, unassuming Remus would be the cause of the man’s jealousy.

“We did” Severus agreed.

“I hope it’s a girl, don’t you?” James asked, after a moment of just sitting there. His gaze never removed itself from the bump.

“A girl?” Severus asked. As if he knew much about girls, except maybe how to piss them off.

“Do you think it will be one? I mean I know I said I wanted to wait until the birth to find out, but can you sense it? Does it feel like it’ll be a girl?” James asked eagerly.

It was moments like this, that Severus questioned how the man had even become a father in the first place. He only hoped the baby would inherit his own intelligence and not that of his father’s. Then again, it didn’t take much intelligence to create a child. Rather, it seemed more likely that intelligence was needed to prevent a child from occurring.

“I don’t know. We’ll just have to wait” Severus replied.

James merely smiled, leaning over to kiss him once more. It had been happening increasingly often as of late, and despite knowing what the man had done, Severus found himself quite accepting of it. Again he blames the hormones. More than once he’d awoken feeling a little hot and bothered, more often than not with James’ rutting up against him, still fast asleep. It should have disgusted him, but the idea that someone found him attractive was still something of a novelty. While he certainly didn’t condone the man for acting like an animal, he couldn’t deny the strange sense of flattery he felt, knowing of his husband’s attraction to him. Even with his body as swollen as it was.

“Where’s Harry?” James asked, apparently just noticing the boy’s absence.

“Sirius is giving him a bath. Remus left just after you arrived, I assume he’s gone to join them” Severus replied. Although he tried to hide it, Severus noticed the smug little grin James gave at the mention of Remus. It seemed he really had been jealous of them.

“So we’re all alone, are we? Then I don’t suppose they’ll be anything stopping us from having a little fun, hmm?” James grinned, raising his eyebrows comically.

Much to his mortification, Severus felt himself flush. The idea of doing anything more with Potter was nauseating, yet he had a role to play, an important role indeed. He’d done far worse as Voldemort’s lackey, and to an extent, as Dumbledore’s informant as well. Truth be told, he’d been quite impressed by James’ self-control since arriving into this reality. While it was obvious his other self and James had been having relations, he could still recall the nauseating ache he’d felt between his legs that first morning, James had been remarkably patient. He’d seemingly abstained from anything more than kissing, though his recent activities during sleep clearly showed his increasing desires for his husband.

“Can you feel it?” James asked cheekily, grabbing Severus’ free hand and pressing it firmly against the bulge in his trousers.

Had Harry not chosen to run in at that very moment, stark naked and trailing soapy suds behind him, Severus honestly feared he would have had to belt the man one.

**Author's Note:**

> I’d love to know what everyone thinks so far.
> 
> Please review!
> 
> KB


End file.
